Edited by Aditi Jain
Disclaimer: A lot of the words used in this article are in Hindi because we are referencing to Bollywood songs! We tried to translate it to English, however it was just turning out to be to extremely cringe-y (made us realise how exaggerated and dramatic Bollywood songs are). So please bear with us, and do reach out to the writer in case you are curious, she would be more than happy to chat!
It’s 2am and I am high on chocolate-y gooey mug cake and a rom-com. Don’t bother asking which one because I am not going to tell you. After going on a recurrent emotional ride of cliché endings, you now know my inspiration for this piece.
First of all, I believe having a crush is one of the most exciting yet heart-breaking journeys of all time. Some of us are brave enough to own it, and I am yet to understand how they stand in front of the very person who makes them giddy and confess. A few others turn out lucky because their crush actually likes them back. But if you are anything like me, you’re probably someone who runs away every time you see your crush (my friends and I still haven’t figured out why I do that). So, this is me dedicating a piece to all the different people I have run away from. I did not hate you, I promise.
Before we get started, I want you to take a moment and acknowledge that there may have been someone you were thinking about when you decided to read this. Go ahead, take your time and accept it. Now, buckle up while I take you through the different stages of having a crush through Bollywood.
1. Girls like to swing
It’s Thursday night with the girls, which entails dancing, desi ‘juice’, and laughing at jokes that no one else would find funny. The Bollywood classics are the anthem and everyone lets loose to the music. Wholesome moments are documented on Snapchat, only for it to hit you with the ‘one year back’ memories later. You are a bunch of ‘hasti, gaati lardkiyaan’ and you perceive to have many admirers. As soon as it’s 12:30 am, you step out of your room and cautiously begin your journey to the mess. You feel carefree for biological as well as metaphorical reasons, and you finally don’t care what others think about you. Grateful for all that’s around, you feel lucky to have people you can depend on throughout college, and even after.
2. Tune mari entry, aur dil mein baji ghanti
It’s Monday morning and you are running late for your 10:10. You quickly lock the room and rush towards the mess to grab a quick breakfast. Whatever you slept in is fine because, remember, you don’t care what others think of you. With your messy hair and puffy face, you pace through the AC-02 hallway while praying that you don’t get locked out of class for being a minute late.
At this very moment, you see someone. Yes, that very someone you are thinking about. Your eyes meet and you smile awkwardly, which you will regret a minute later. You move to fix your hair (in a very non-prominent way), and if you are lucky, you might get a smile back. Stereotypically, this moment is supposed to be very cute, with slow-motion hair flying and intense eye contact. Unfortunately, not everyone can have ‘aankhon hi aankhon mein bataein’ realistically. When you try to do the same, you might end up looking like an idiot, with wide eyes and none or too much blinking. After walking past them, you are supposed to have the ‘Kon hai yeh, jisne dobara mujhe mudke nahi dekha’ moment. However, you end up contemplating the confidence you had in the morning about how you dressed for class. You shake your head to get rid of those thoughts because you don’t care. Although, you inwardly can’t deny that ‘kuch toh hua hai, kuch hogaya hai’. Regardless, you compose yourself. You know there are too many people on campus and the probability of you running into them again are very low, so you carry on.
3. Main Pareshaan
They suddenly cross your mind when you’re working on an assignment on one of the tables outside the mess. You begin to wonder what they must be doing and shake your head in denial, realising what tricks your mind’s playing on you. You give yourself a short pep talk about not falling down that road and continue doing your assignment. The problem with this stage is that the more we try to deny their existence, the more prevalent their presence seems around us. They catch the corner of your eye in the mess lawns, at Fuel Zone, and in the corridor. But, no, you don’t feel anything. You are good. You do not care about what others think of you, and you certainly aren’t going to dress ‘better’ to look ‘good’ for some random person.
4. Kuch kuch hota hai
You are waiting in line for your coupon, and they come and stand right behind you. Like a 13-year old girl, you feel giddy and nervous but you can’t show that. You try to showcase an ‘I don’t care’ persona and look in their direction, only to completely ignore their presence. Can someone tell me why we do this?
You’re walking towards the Old Academic Block when you see them exiting the mess and your stomach ties itself into a knot. You remain as calm as you can but you can’t help the blood rushing to your cheeks. But do you know when you are in big trouble? It’s when you’re working on an assignment in the library and become conscious of whether they can see you working through the transparent glass. Once you get there, you have unfortunately rolled yourself down the very road you wanted to avoid. Now every time you see them, ‘kuch kuch hota hai’.
5. Koi Mil Gaya
Now that you have accepted that ‘violins bajne lagte hai’, what better way to make your tiny crush even more prominent than by telling your friends ‘Koi mil gaya’? You know that they are going to inform you every time they see him on campus, just to see that stupid smile on your face when you hear their name. They may even craft a ‘6 din ladka in’ plan for you, if you are willing to pursue your crush. How many of these have actually worked? If they have, please share your secret with those around you. The nudges, the awkward stares, and their consistent attempt to make your tiny crush noticeable can often make you regret telling them ‘koi mil gaya, mil hi gaya’.
6. Locha-E-Ulfat
Now is the fun part. The dancing in the shower with the body wash as your mic while you lip-sync to all your favourite songs, begins. While ‘suraj hua matham and chaand jalne laga’, you walk down to the mess. With the right song playing through your earphones, you feel each and every lyric from the bottom of your heart.
Your mind loves to wander and you no longer resist it. You love the thought of having them around or with you, and you wonder ‘tere mere beech mein kya hai?’ A diverse list of situations is crafted by your mind, each with a different ending. This has got to be an art. Tell me, are you a Laila who goes and takes a chance to be with her Arjun, or are you an Aditi who hopes that your Jai will break into an airport to sing ‘tera mujhse hai pehle ka naata koi’? If you are an intense day-dreamer, you might have even thought of the break-up, before something even started. The break-up scene usually entails the ‘main samajhti hoon tumhe, tum dorna chahte ho, urna chahte ho, girna bhi chahte ho, bass rukna nahi chahte’. At the end of the day, you know ‘kya hona tha kyun hogayaa, Locha-e-Ulfat hogaya’.
7. Tumhe jo maine dekha, tumhe jo maine jaana
With Spotify playlists changing and your never-ending fantasies, everything seems ‘subhanallah’. But there’s another step where things might get ugly and you might end up getting hurt. However, ‘jaane kyu, jaane kyu dil chahta hai information ho toh we’ll be alright’. So you gather the gadgets and unleash your inner detective to conduct extensive primary ‘research’ on your crush. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Quora (don’t deny it), and even LMS help obtain a holistic understanding of their personality, likes, and interests. After data collection, you analyse it in whatever way fits your imaginary situations perfectly and are now scared of how much you know about the person and their family vacation in the 5th grade.
The execution of this data takes place when you strategically appear outside the mess, well aware of their 11:50 in the Old Academic Block. While you are sitting and eating food in the mess lawns, you place yourself in their vision and begin to embrace the ‘I am so beautiful but I don’t even know it’ persona. Now, the aim is ‘Hey YA! I wanna get closer to you, Hey YA! I need to be closer to you’, in a non-creepy way of course.
8. Kiska hai yeh tumko intezar main hoon na
Remember when the road was supposed to get ugly? As proud as you might be of completely utilising your Ashokan research skills, you might come across something that could potentially put a knife in your heart. A ‘villain’ enters this tragic one-sided love story, whom you perceive to be ‘more than a friend’. You want your crush to tell you ‘Tu hi hai’, but you feel like ‘just go to hell dil’. The road to comparison, jealousy, and a little bit of drama begins.
You want to tell your crush ‘tu jaane na’ that your ‘love’ for them is genuine and this ‘villain’ is going to break their heart. It frustrates you how he isn’t smart enough to see that YOU are the one he has been looking for, according to all your infatuations. I mean, your intense two second eye-contacts and look-aways are such a big hint! Why don’t you guys get it? You begin to wonder, ‘kiska hai yeh tumko intezaar main hoon na, dekhlo idhar toh ekbaar main hoon na?’
9. Kahin toh hoga voh
Instead of having this stage, some of you might actually have texts to smile at. However, we’re sticking to the sob story.
This is the stage of ultimate growth and self-discovery. It starts with a heavy heart, when you slowly become aware of reality. You standing outside the mess in his line of vision and the eye-contacts are not enough for him to realise that you are a gorgeous woman. Chocolate, a romcom, and a reverb version of ‘Kabira’ (just to hit the heart a little more) help you accept that nothing is going to happen. This journey is difficult because it could lead to some self-doubt, a few tears, and the question “am I going to be single for the rest of my life?”. You hope that ‘kahin toh hoga voh’, with whom you can cuddle, break cross-access hours, have late-night walks, and dates with on the AC-02 balcony.
This is the point where your hype women step in. She makes you realise ‘gulabi aankhein jo teri dekhi, deewana har dil hogaya’. Girl, ‘you don’t need no man’ because #friesbeforeguys. Your friends help you awaken your inner badass and you realise that this man has been a sheer waste of time. Now, it’s all about self-care with face masks, moisturizer, and dhaba food. You realise ‘mein hasne lagi thi, muskuraane lagi thi’, and this time it wasn’t because of an Aman.
10. I hate luv storys
Since you have had quite the experience, I think it’s safe to say that you feel like taking a break from guys because you firmly believe that ‘aaj ke boys I tell you, itne lallu what to do’. This has been quite the character development journey for you but you know that you aren’t looking for anyone to ‘complete’ you. You feel the wholesomeness of life again, but constantly remind everyone that you ‘hate luv storys’. The golden hour Sonipat skies seem beautiful again and a Thursday girls’ night is planned. ‘Girls like to swing’ is blasted on the speakers and you realise that you no longer care about what others think about you. You feel great and have the time of your life. Maybe, even roll down a hill, symbolic of your freedom. You reach the mess and meet other friends. You are grateful for all that’s around and feel lucky to have people you can depend on throughout college, and even after.
The coming Monday morning, you are walking down to the mess to grab a quick breakfast before your 10:10. With messy hair and a puffy face, you walk through the corridor with your favourite pyjamas on. You rush down the AC-02 corridor, hoping not to get locked out of class again when you notice someone. Yes, that very someone you are thinking about because ‘picture abhi baaki hai mere dost’.