Edited by Vanishree
College is hard, and there’s no doubt about it. Even if it may not look it, and nobody will admit it, College. Is. Hard. Online college, undeniably complicates the “college experience” so much more. From having a harder time adjusting to new academics and feeling the constant stress of having to make friends, the struggles of online college are never-ending.
With the added pressure of all social interaction going online, there is a heavy dependence on social media to make friends. With already skyrocketing cases of anxiety during the lockdown, increased time on social media will no doubt be harmful to anyone’s mental health. If the pressure of making friends in college wasn’t enough, on social media we’re led to believe that everyone but us is making friends and having a very easy time with it. Social media has the unfailing ability to lie to us.
Please be assured, that this is true for no one. Making friends in college is hard for most people, and it’s never easy to see other people have an easier time with it than you. It’s easy to be lied to, when all you see are people posting pictures of their new online best friends, Netflix parties, among us games and virtual bake-offs. If you’re having a hard time making friends, remember that it is okay, and making friends is not a race that you need to beat anyone at. You still have time, and you can afford to go at your own pace. You don’t have to interact with your fellow batchmates for 10+ hours a day if you don’t want to. Yes, really.
Although many of us may already be used to doing academics online, for everyone who’s new to online learning, this may be an extremely jarring experience. Sitting on a laptop in one room for hours and days on end, with almost no social contact except for your parent occasionally bringing you food, is nobody’s ideal way to learn. Remember to take small breaks and shut off when you need to. Overworking yourself and pretending that it is fine will only eventually lead to burnout. You may have a hundred assignments due by the end of this week, but if you don’t take the much-needed break, none of them will work out the way you want them to. Remember, “never half-ass two things, whole ass one thing” (Ron Sweeney, Parks, and Rec)
Mental health in college is never discussed enough, and especially now that learning is online, it’s easy to feel lonely, isolated, and distant from what you’re learning and doing. What does learning about ancient Indian Civilization matter when there’s a whole pandemic going on out there? It’s easy for a sense of hopelessness and despair to set in, and it’s only natural that it will. If that wasn’t enough, the loneliness of having to be alone all the time adds to the constant stress we’re under. While going out and meeting new people may not be feasible, and being on call all that time can be exhausting, there are many ways we can spend time with ourselves or a few close ones. Understand that it’s okay for your social life to suffer a little bit. After all, these aren’t normal circumstances and we mustn’t treat them as such. While trying to maintain a certain degree of normalcy in our relationships can be useful, to continue as if nothing has changed and being isolated doesn’t affect our mental health would be being dishonest to our mental well-being. Recognize that this may not be the best time for you, and there’s absolutely no reason for it. There’s no need for you to even “make the best out of a bad situation.” Saying that indefinitely increases the expectations to be sociable, productive, and happy, even if you may not really want to be any of that currently.
So, it’s okay to complain and feel sorry for yourself. It’s okay if you want to throw a pity party for yourself. There’s no need for you to troop on as if nothing has changed and put up a brave front. Take a moment to accept that SO MUCH has changed. This is a completely new, unprecedented situation, and everybody deals with it differently. It’s okay to take your time adjusting to the newness of it all. There will always be time to make new friends, adjust to the academic pressure, and to learn to balance everything. It isn’t something that needs to be immediately, and it definitely isn’t something that’s done easily.