Are you a starving artist, too full for starvation yet too empty to create?
That’s me, pretentiously asking if you’ve got a case of writer’s block
Ah! That wretched word, block! Immovable, seemingly insurmountable, rock-hard, and always springing up when you least expect it.
You stare at a blank white Google Doc urging your fingers to move against your clackety pink keyboard, but nothing… nothing springs forth, bucketfuls of rubbish, empty words, and well-used phrases flow fast and free.
The muse within you feels dead, there is nothing new, nothing extraordinary or beautiful- it’s the same old shit.
You could sit behind your laptop screen as it taunts you blankly or you could do these 10 things to get the whole artsy creative side of you kicking again:
- Give Up:
Stop trying so hard. Dump your diary, toss your notepad, gently shut your overpriced Mac and take a break.
Be quirky, and have a Kit Kat.
- Go for a walk:
As clichèd as this one sounds, it works, this whole nature thing is actually quite rejuvenating. Now that you’ve had your fix of laptop snapping and KitKat munching, go out and look at some birds and ponds and shit. Watch the leaves sway gently in the breeze, romanticise the yucky Delhi loo wind that blows through the afternoon, and get inspired by the mundane!
- Sit down and watch:
You’ve walked a couple of miles… meters? You’re feeling better already, your eyes welcome the feeling of looking at real things, instead of just bright white screens.
Find a comfy bench, grab a coffee, and sit back.
Contemplate, and reflect, how do you feel?
Bored?
- Brainstorm!
Let the boredom of sitting and watching nothing activate your brain into thinking about new shit. It’s sneaky but it works. Eliminate all other stimuli and bore your mind into inventing something new!
- People Watch:
By now you’ve probably got a vague idea of what you want to write, whether it’s a play, an ambitious novel that caps itself after 10 chapters or a mopey poem about the injustice of everything and the complex inner world that only you inhabit.
All you need now is your characters.
Look around you, every new face is a fertile ground for interesting characters. Observe expressions, mannerisms, and strange little quirks.
Invent storylines, slap on names, and there you have it!
- Drink another cup of coffee while you wait for inspiration to hit
- Deny, Deny, Deny
Okay, so inspiration still hasn’t hit.
Move onto Plan B – Blatant Denial.
The best way to un-slump is to refuse to accept the existence of the stuff you dont like.
Writer’s block, you ask? I have no clue what that is.
You know how Santa ceases to exist if you stop believing in him? Stop believing in the concept of writer’s block.
Unthink it out of being.
- Scratch your Head
Okay, so thingy number 7 didn’t work
Proceed to wrinkle your nose, scratch your head and reevaluate whether reading my articles are a good idea. All the reevaluation will get your mind whirring, and before you know it, you might just have half a piece ready, even if it’s only a rant against lazy writers giving useless tips about writer’s block.
- Hit Shuffle
Now you’re just frustrated and bored and you feel like you’ve wasted time.
Fuck it.
Put your headphones on and let someone else do the work for you.
When you can’t think of anything new, or can’t seem to whip up any inspiration from your own life, dive nose-deep into someone else.
Drown yourself in someone else story, and try to create a new one.
- Hit the sack
If all else fails, and you still find yourself staring dumbly at a blank screen, just crash.
Put on a cosy pair of pajamas, curl up in bed, and drift away.
Dump the burden of creativity onto your subconscious mind.
You never know what you might come up with!