It has come to my attention, courtesy to the lack of men in my life, that I have minimal knowledge of what attracts guys. I tend to overanalyze things, so naturally I have racked my brain to try and figure out what I need to do differently to have a dating life that would make Carrie Bradshaw proud.
Men are an interesting kind. They all claim to be uncomplicated and easy to please, but I have always seen them as a puzzle that I just cannot seem to put together. In the past, if I had a flirtless night I would think my outfit was to blame, or that my hair looked stupid. I wanted to know the secret to getting a guy’s attention, so I went to my three best guy friends and asked them all the same question… “What causes you to walk up to a girl and start talking to her?”
My favorite answer was “a good smile usually ropes me in.”
Adorable, I know. The other common answers that they gave me were body language and eye contact. They want to know that we’re interested in them because they don’t want to get rejected.
I asked the boys if they were scared of striking out and one of them admitted that it is terrifiying walking up to a girl.
Now I’m not saying that you should walk up to a guy and say how interested you are in him. A little mystery can go a long way.
There are undoubtedly the jerks of the world that would say they only talk to girls that look like Gisele, but do we really want those guys anyway?
After you have the guy’s eye and he’s on his way over, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT start doubting yourself. Around this time, I will start freaking out about what I’m wearing and thinking that he’s going to judge my outfit. Unless the guy is flamboyant or a fashion designer, he could care less about what you’re wearing.
“I don’t really give a s**t what a girl is wearing as long as they aren’t rags,” one of my colorful friends said.
So why lose your confidence? He’s clearly already seen something he likes. Besides, the hard part is over and now the fun part begins– flirting. The best part about flirting is that you get to be yourself. This is where your personality can shine and the guy can really get a feel for you. I asked my friends what type of conversation leaves a good impression on them? In other words, what would make them ask a girl out?
Their answers varied from common interests to sense of humor, but they all agreed that confidence is extremely attractive in a woman. Guys don’t want to spend their time on a girl needing constant reminders that she is beautiful because we all are. It is just a matter of finding the right guy to see that. A lot of times if you start doubting yourself then the guy will too eventually. It sounds corny and cliché, but if you don’t see yourself in a positive light then how can you ever expect for men to see you that way? They want a woman that is comfortable in her own skin and is honest with her feelings.
“If you got it, flaunt it,” said one of the three guys.
If I think I look ugly, fat, slutty, you name it, it can cause me to have a bad night out. I will spend the entire night obsessing about how other people see me, but in reality the guys are only seeing an unconfident woman that keeps adjusting her boobs and touching her hair every five minutes.
One of the best nights I’ve had in college was when my best friend came to town. Even though I hated my hair that night, I still had the time of my life. I am constantly laughing when I’m with her and not even worrying about other people around me. I wasn’t thinking about my hair, my outfit, or how I appeared to others. The result of my confidence was an extremely sexy guy asking for my number.
He even mentioned to me how attractive my confidence was, and I’m thinking to myself…is he sure he’s talking about me? But from now on, I’m leaving the scared little girl behind, and I’m going to become the woman that my three best guy friends described because she sounds pretty awesome and worthy of any man’s attention.