A certain breed of people exist in this world. A breed that does not see sense in having a perfectly clean room/car/life. This breed is happy with the organized chaos that is their personality. I am here to vouch that a happy life can exist within this group of individuals who are gravely misunderstood by the Type A organized *shudder* people. In a pile of clothes we see potential and possibilities not a hot mess labeled as an inconvenience. In a trunk full of unread textbooks and endless unidentifiable comfort colors t-shirts, we see the memories that once were and what could have been. We see our backseat as a portable closet that acts as a pivotal entity in our daily dressing routine that utilizes wardrobe changes on every whim. In the plethora of judgment we receive from friends, parents, boyfriends and the elusive shackers, I think it is not only our right, but our prerogative, to live in a world that never questions our life paths but stays out of our inconsistent lifestyle choices. After all, just like Britney Spears said – we don’t need permission to make our own decisions. Also just like Britney Spears did it better than Bobby Brown, we do being messy better than *you people* do being organized.
Listed below are the 12 things we all know and love to be true. Enjoy!
1. I know where everything is; don’t touch anything or it will get lost into an oblivion that no one wants to venture into.
2. YES! There is a reason why I have 6 water cups next to my bed. HELLO I get super thirsty on the weekends and my bed is possessive and gets cranky if I leave it alone for too long.
3. “Oh you want to borrow my tank top? Yeah it is in my room…but don’t you go look…I’ll go look. Give me 20 minutes. No seriously 20 minutes and don’t rush me.”
4. That pang of anger when someone tells you that you need to clean your sh!t up. I AM A BUSY PERSON AND CLEANING IS NOT ON MY TO-DO LIST EVER.
5. When a friend asks you to pick them up and is shocked that your car is actually clean. HAHA no. It’s all shoved in my trunk. Yeah my hair is so big because it’s full of the secrets of my trickery.
6. Apologizing for going off on that girl who you swear never gave you that shirt back because you found that shirt on the floor of your closet yesterday. *Sorry, but not sorry because I am obviously passionate about my clothing*
7. Having so many clothes on your floor that you effectively reinvented playing “don’t touch the lava.”
8. You have more broken hangers than functioning hangers and that is the biggest tease because when you actually try to hang something up, you just can’t. No you really can’t hang them up though and then you have to add hangers to your shopping list and realistically that won’t be for weeks; Mental breakdown ensues.
9. It is the holy grail when you clean your room up and find all the hidden treasures of a past life that was your life. It is a euphoria comparable to going in Nordstrom’s and essentially selling your soul to the devil himself by purchasing 2 new MAC lipsticks, a beanie (that you will never be able to pull off) and a new purse because, hey, it was 20% off. All of which totaling $500 that you never had in the first place, but now your broke a$$ looks good. *confidence*
10. “Hey! Yeah I just left my house, be there in like 10 minutes?”… *simultaneously/frantically searches everywhere for car keys/ID/dignity* WHERE ARE YOU CAR KEYS?!?! Come back please? *Alerts Amber to send in help to look*
11. Throwing everything on your bed before you head out for the night SEEMED like a good idea; but then you come home and throw everything on the floor and then you can’t seem to make it to the bathroom at 4 am without rolling an ankle/knocking over one of the six cups on your nightstand. *Plus side: if/when you fall you land on a comfy palette of clothing that cushions the blow. Thank your sober self tomorrow.*
12. You eventually stop inviting people over because you are sick and tired of seeing the beautiful creation of organized chaos all over your alleged “friends” Snap Chat story. How could you betray the secrets of our friendship? What did I do to you? Do you ever want me to find a husband?! Do you think this is a joke???