15 Internal & Infernal Monologues of the English Major: As Told by Harry Potter

You don't even have to be an English major to understand the struggles of the writer, the reader and the inner geek.

1. Don't you love it when people talk to you while you're clearly reading? Or clearly writing? Alone? For a reason?

 

2. Everyone thinks you're pretentious and that your thoughtful, "Post-Mediveal-Lit-Class Face" is just resting bitch face; but you're not mad - not most of the time.

 

3. You banter with your fellow Literature nerds about the primary subtextual meanings and undertones of pieces like Heart of Darkness.

 

4. "Undertones...like, lowlights in your hair?" Says your roommate.

 

5. You actually feel immensely proud when people ask you to edit their papers, even though you sigh and say: "Yeah, I think I can squeeze this in today."

 

6. Forever remembering when you considered being a Business major, and they told you that giant nope-hole of a sentence: "Finite isn't as scary" as everyone claims it to be.

 

7. This is about the worst you get from your professor when you forget to read all of Henry IV in two days:

 

8. When everyone was freaking out over Magic Mike

 

9. "Who is Loreena McKennitt?"

 

10. When they advise you to go for your Master's degree at another University to make you seem educationally diverse.

 

11. No matter how hard you try, you just can't manage to get into Candido's Shakespeare class, so you finally just pick another professor.

 

12. You've pretended to know all about Ozymandias, until someone asks for your opinion on the symbolism and visuals expressed in relation to immortality and possession.

 

13. You narrate your life. You narrate other people's lives. It makes everyone uncomfortable. That's okay.

 

14. Boys actually like you from time-to-time, but you're kind of busy and he's kind of weird...

 

15. What you want to do when some asks the question: "Oh, what are you going to do with it?"