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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

The 10 Ways to Empower Yourself to Let Go of Negative People

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Arizona chapter.

It’s difficult to let go of toxic people. Sometimes we don’t want to get rid of the possibility of having something good and ignore the toxic, but sometimes we feel like we “owe” them a friendship. No matter if why they’re toxic, we need to look at the bigger picture and acknowledge that if we let them go, we might have a chance to create room for better opportunities. Here are the ten ways to empower yourself to move and let go from those negative people in your life:

UNDERSTAND WHO’S TOXIC

Knowing who is toxic is usually the first step of the process. Whether it’s your friend who always finds a way to bring you down or a boy that doesn’t acknowledge your feelings, with spring cleaning, it’s time to let go. Realize the difference between positive people that bring you energy and love into your life and those that don’t.

RECOGNIZE YOUR EXPECTATIONS

Realizing what you expect from any relationship is important. Trust me; you need to take the time to figure that out before you communicate it. Knowing how you plan to be treated is essential for you to remain active and confident when it comes to discussing these guidelines. 

SET BOUNDARIES

Even if you aren’t ready to let that toxic person go just yet, it’s important to set boundaries and address your expectations. Communicating how you want and expect to be treated promotes positivity in the relationship and for yourself. It’s also important to set expectations for yourself and how you will react if they can’t follow your expectations or boundaries; let people go if needed.

UNFOLLOW THEM ON SOCIAL MEDIA

You don’t need constant reminders of them and their lifestyle. Being aware of their negativity they bring to your life and how they affected you is one thing, but having it come up through your phone is another thing. Unfollow, delete, block, do anything that will help you let go.

JOIN CLUBS OR ORGANIZATIONS

I’ve noticed that the chances of joining a club or an organization and not make at least one friend is pretty low. Clubs and organizations are the perfect way to meet people because you will find that most people are there for a common reason as to yours: they want to make friends who have similar interests. Finding a club in something you’re interested in will help you find people you see yourself having a good relationship with.

REACH OUT TO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

When letting go of unhealthy relationships, it’s crucial to r3emember what you do have. Reaching out to positive, healthy relationships that bring out the best in you rather than your worst will help you remember how you should be treated and how you should feel in relationships. By letting go of negative people in your life opens more room for positive people.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

Everyone makes mistakes because ultimately no one is perfect. We need to take the time to notice our errors. We might see that we are one of the reasons why the relationship turned toxic, but don’t take full responsibility, but full accountability for your actions.

DON’T FEEL LIKE YOU “OWE” THEM ANYTHING

You can take responsibility but don‘t feel like you “owe” them anything. Just because they were there for you that one time, doesn’t mean you “owe” them your loyalty or your friendship. We must remember why they are toxic and hold our strength to that reason.

CREATE DISTANCE

It might be best before you cut off a toxic person to give them space so you can figure out the best way to address the situation. Allow yourself to create distance to see how you feel without them. Remember, though, that missing people is only natural, but if we feel healthier and more positive without them then letting them go is probably the best answer.

CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES CAREFULLY

You deserve to let people go if they’re unhealthy, but you don’t need more negative repercussions that what’s expected. Stay calm and respectful when communicating by remember that not every one of their justifications is necessary or worth it to fight. Trust me, choosing your battles carefully so you can remain confident while trying to stay respectful can be helpful when communicating why you’re moving onwards and forwards.

Dayne DiSesa

Arizona '19

Dayne DiSesa is a senior at the University of Arizona. She is double majoring in Gender and Women Studies and Creative Writing, and working on fulfilling her life long dream of becoming a social worker. Dayne is a proud owner of two guinea pigs (Buritos and Dorritios), 20 dreamcatchers, and a car she named after Betty White. You can follow her on instagram: @sunflowersanddaynishes.