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Why It’s Okay for a Friendship to Fade

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at App State chapter.

It’s no secret that people change when they go away to college.

Some people change for the good and some for the bad, just like some people grow closer and some people grow apart. It’s just life. After I grew apart from multiple friends of mine and ultimately lost my very best one, I realized: IT JUST HAPPENS.

Some friends stay and some friends go simply because the situations in your life do not allow them to be a part of your journey.  It does not mean you did not try hard to make the friendships work or that anyone is to blame, but sometimes, just like a relationship, it just doesn’t find its place in your life anymore.

My Mom and I got into a big discussion about friendships the last time I visited home. I told her that at this point in my life I only want friends that I know will be there for me if I call them at 3 a.m. needing to talk (which happens more often that not).

I want the friends that tell me to shut up when I talk about the same guy over and over again, but will still listen anyway.  I want the friends that will be there for me through the toughest times of my life and the times where I see no light at the end of the tunnel.

It was when I went through the toughest time in my life, that I realized who stayed beside me and who left. But it was in those very months that I found my greatest friends. My greatest supporters, my backbones, my biggest fans, my people.

They listened to me cry, whine, complain and question every choice I had ever made. They listened not with the intent to give advice, but to just literally be there. The friends I call my best friends today are the ones who were there for me during the hardest time of my life.

Coincidently, the friendships I grew apart from happened during the same year at the same time.

College is hard. Classes are hard, boys are annoying, girls are evil, and there is never enough time to do anything it seems like.

BUT, if there is one thing I’ve learned over the past year its that having the right friends can MAKE or BREAK you.

Surrounding yourself with the wrong people will bite you in the butt quicker than you can blink.

Life is too short to waste your time on sucky people that won’t eat a full tub of chocolate brownie marshmallow ice cream with you just because you’re feeling lonely that night (shoutout to my suitemates last year!)

The point is, it’s hard to get through this journey alone. People change, relationships deteriorate, and growing up is just difficult sometimes.

Be smart and find yourself a few good friends. Your heart will thank you later.

 

Carlin is a senior at Appalachian State University pursuing a degree in Public Relations and English. She is a Bachelor and One Tree Hill fanatic who is passionate about chocolate frosties and Chipotle. Her dream job is to be a sports reporter for ESPN.