Why I'm Taking Time Off after I Graduate

I graduate in May and I'm taking a year off.Don't freak out. I'm not saying a year off from working or life or anything like that. I'm just taking some time to figure out what I want to do with my life. That's okay. 

Ever since I was a little girl I've been running to the next challenge. Running to make teams, graduate, run clubs, make good grades. You name it I was running to it. I am a self proclaimed race horse I thrive more the busier I am and I've been like that my entire life. I have always wanted it all and wanted it right now. I made the dean's list. I ran clubs. I took 20 credit hours to finish in four. I planned banquets and events and occasionally made it out on a Saturday night. 

But here's the thing. I'm burnt out. I never expected to be the kid who's a** got kicked by college. That always blew my mind when I heard people say it. Like come on it's college it's all fun and games and a little class. HA! What a joke. I am exhausted to my core. Instead of knowing what I want from my future as far as a career goes I'm more confused than when I came here four years ago. It changes weekly. Do I want to teach? Do I want to write? What about doing events? Am I just following a pay check rather than what gets my soul excited?So I'm taking a year off. I'm looking for that magic again. The drive that's pushed me for my entire life. I'm getting in touch with things that bring me joy. I'm getting married actually. I'm focusing on my health and what I feel like I'm called to do. I'm saying yes to opportunities that I may never have the chance to do again. I want to make sure that I'm not going into a job that takes my soul just because it pays me X number of dollars every year. It sounds weird to say I need to recover from the last four years but it is what it is. I worked so hard and spread myself so thin that I don't really know what I want anymore. We're at this weird point where people don't think undergrad is an impressive accomplishment and that's ridiculous. 

This is okay. You are right where you should be. If you want to take some time off to find yourself and find what you love then you need to do that. It's not like you get a second chance at any of this. Maybe you want to go back to school... maybe you hope you never see another classroom again. Maybe the lord, or the universe, or whatever higher power you believe in will present you with an opportunity or path that you never could've foreseen coming.  This does not make you weak. This is not sad. This isn't stupid or foolish or anything anyone may tell you. Taking time to find yourself in your twenties (or anytime) is important, or you may wake up one day and look in the mirror to realize you have no idea who you are and how you got there. 

Take the time. Figure out yourself. Don't let people pressure you to do something that you know isn't right for you just because they think it is or it's right for them. Don't let people make you feel bad for this time. The people who love you should support your choice to make the best decisions for your own life. You deserve it. College is hard. But regardless you graduated and that deserves endless amounts of praise.