Ever since it went from the fiasco that involved V-Day cards and candy in fifth grade, to an adult thing where being alone was expected to be the end of the world, I realized Valentine’s Day was painfully pointless.
The Enforced Fun of New Year’s Eve is the equivalent to Enforced Love of V Day, which, most likely than not, will end with drunken tears on the stairs. The Valentine’s Day cards plastered around drug stores are nauseating. The red and pink combinations truly make me cringe (I can’t be the only one). I’m not bitter, just annoyed that love has to be put on such a display in order to be felt. It’s solely a holiday for the greeting-card industry to gain some extra revenue after Christmas.
To some, Valentine’s Day is a day where everyone believes they’ve found their soulmate and MUST splatter this love across social media or else the love isn’t real. We all know those people that love flaunt their relationships for all their followers to see. But what if you don’t have a significant other? Do you sit in bed eating chips and queso while watching “Pride & Prejudice” and pray for the end of this fresh hell? NO! You can’t let that son of a bitch, Cupid, ruin your night. Instead, you should feel extra awesome because it’s one day out of 365, and so what if there isn’t a guy to share it with? There’s nothing wrong with you, you know. You’re remarkable. You’re so incredible, as a matter of fact, that you’re not going to be the stupid girl settling for anyone just so you can tell people you have a date for Valentine’s Day.
You are an independent woman and you know you don’t need no man. Sometimes they smell weird and snore.
I don’t need a reason to be gifted with chocolate. Not every girl even enjoys chocolate. For example, I’m the kind of girl that enjoys cheese. What does every girl enjoy you may ask? Every girl on this planet would enjoy a Sephora gift card. I will happily accept it any day, you don’t have to set aside 24 special hours just for that, thanks! Also, giving someone flowers is stupid, because the flowers, no matter how pretty, are ALREADY DYING when they’re bought and they don’t last long. What better metaphor could there be for relationships, right? Bring me a cheese basket and some wine so I know it’s real.
In the year already known as the year where the Doomsday Clock is closest to the end as it’s been in decades, it’s time to change things up. Carrie Bradshaw said it best: “Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.” In my 21 ripe years of knowledge, this could not be more true. (Clearly) I’m single and I actually love Valentine’s Day. We all have single girlfriends that are feeling the inner cringe of Valentine’s Day as well. Make restaurant reservations or just stay in with some wine and a gory movie. I promise you’ll have more fun with your friends than any other scrub you met at the bar last spring who’s just now hitting you up during cuffing season.
Spend time with those who truly mean the sun and the moon to you on this day created by Satan himself.
Image Sources:
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