There are two types of people that come to mind when you see anything Fifty Shades of Grey related: those who want to see the movie—let’s call them Group A– and those who are against it—let’s call them Group B.
Why? Who are the two types of people really? There are more than likely people from both sides who read the books. Then, what differentiates them?
The vast majority of Group A are people who want to see Jamie Dornan shirtless (or more than shirtless) and/or have read the books and actually like them.
And…
The vast majority of Group B are people who are against the relationship between Christian and Ana (or either believe Jamie and Dakota have zero chemistry or the scenes will be too much, which isn’t true according to Vanity Fair in their review, “Fifty Shades Of Grey Is Tamer Than You Might Think, But It’s A Lot Better, Too. Read it here.)
Now, why would Group B be against the relationship between the two? They see Christian as controlling to the point of stalkerish and abusive. Some even argue that is not even how BDSM works.
As someone who has read the book, Christian makes it clear just how controlling he is from the get-go, so no surprise there. Once more, they never explicitly state the two have a BDSM relationship. Their relationship is not normal.
However, in the blog, “I Write About Feminism,” after reading all of the books, the blogger makes the following points (pardon the language):
“This man forces this woman to carry a Blackberry and have a computer, both of which she objects to numerous times, and then is reluctant to use, leading to ever-more inappropriate outbursts from him. He doesn’t want her to take a business trip because he is jealous, and when she tries to shut him down, he uses his immense wealth and privilege to buy her company and then cancel the business trip. He buys her not one car but two which are equipped with GPS tracking devices, so that he can find her at all times. He also doesn’t “allow” her to drive these cars very often, because he doesn’t think she’s a safe enough driver. He dictates what she will wear. He ambushes her with a haircut that she didn’t ask for.
And then there’s the body and food policing, which was so triggering it just about sent me over the edge. If any person, man or woman, tried to control my food intake, they’d be alone so fast it would make their head spin. Nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, gives anyone the right to police another person’s food intake. Even if you think it’s unhealthy. Even if it’s out of “concern.” Concern-trolling is not love, it’s creepy controlling behavior that is indicative of much deeper problems.
A man with impulse-control issues is not sexy. He’s disturbing. Impulse-control problems indicate that he is not in conscious control of his actions. If he shows up at your job when you’ve specifically told him not to, then he has boundary issues. He’s trying to control you life, and if it was a person to whom you were not sexually attracted, you’d be calling the police.
Also, he’s constantly “mad” at her, and she is constantly worried that he’s going to lose control and beat her. Um, that’s not sexy, that’s scary and abusive. Also, that is in absolutely no way what dom-sub relationships are about. (If you’d like to know more about actual, real-life dom-sub play, here’s a lovely resource: http://bitchmagazine.org/post/thinking-kink-myths-BDSM-feminist-magazine-sex-bondage”
First, if you recall from the books, Ana does not actually follow the meal plan or the workouts.
Second, he buys her the Blackberry (which is easier to talk on because he has one), the computer, and the cars because he feels her things are outdated and she could use an upgrade. For example, he felt her car was unsafe because it was old and falling apart, and he didn’t understand her objections because he cares for her safety and he can afford to buy her one (again, he does actually get her old car back in the second book). An example of this type of scenario is in the new abcfamily show “Young & Hungry” when Josh, a 30-year-old tech-millionaire, buys Gabi, his cook, a new car after her old one breaks down. He,like Christian, does not understand how upset she is because he is rich and can buy new things at the drop of a hat and cares about her (although that’s another story entirely).
And, Christian buys Ana a new wardrobe because he’s filthy rich and wants to treat her (and her dressing sexier would not be opposed to him). Collegiettes, how many of you have protested your man treating you to something nice just because he can? How many of you would say he wanted you to dress sexier at some point?
That’s the thing: Christian Grey is a 27-year-old man. He is a MAN. He is a man’s man. Unfortunately, a man with a seriously messed up childhood that is all he knows. (For those of you who do not know, his mother, who was 40, burnt out her cigarettes on his chest when he was a small child and her friend, who is STILL in his life, raped him at the age of 11-years-old. 11.)
But, the blogger addresses his childhood, too (again, language):
“Finally, all of the fuc*ed-up-ness of the books is premised on the fact that dude had a really terrible childhood and has some pretty intense emotional problems. Which he’s in therapy for. Um, OK. But last I checked, it still isn’t OK to brutalize your partner because you had a fuc*ed up childhood. Also, if you’re such a mess that you can’t keep from doing things like stalking and hitting your partner, then maybe you shouldn’t have a partner right now, and focus your attentions on getting yourself into a more stable place.”
Here’s the thing about that: are any rapes able to be handled alone? Is it not hard to get over? Do they not scar the person?
Christian Grey is on top of the professional world. But, he IS human. And, as humans, we usually do not help ourselves, which is what the blogger brought up that he needed to do. Instead, sometimes we need that extra push or someone to tell us something needs to be done, sometimes we need someone close to us to be there for us.
Ana does that to him. Ana helps him. A good quote to illustrate this was adapted at the end of the second trailer.
Ana says, “Why are you trying to change me?”
“I’m not. It’s you that’s changing me,” He replies.
What do you think, collegiettes?
Websites used:
http://www.ibtimes.com/fifty-shades-grey-trailer-premieres-jamie-dornan-…
http://www.projectcasting.com/news/domestic-violence-fifty-shades-of-grey/
http://www.webelieveinstyle.net/2015/01/fifty-shades-of-jamie-dornan.html
http://www.laweekly.com/restaurants/brokeass-gourmets-gabi-moskowitz-on-…
https://readersinthemist.wordpress.com/2012/07/18/fifty-shades-of-grey-a…