My Hard Year

My freshman year of college has been hands down, the most interesting year of my life. I don’t know what I expected coming to App, but this year has been so different from anything I could have imagined. I have always been a person who wants everything perfect, so I put a lot of thought into coming to App. Still, even once I knew what I was doing, I was still apprehensive about such a big change in my life.

I’m not saying that the transition was easy, actually, it was the hardest thing I have ever done and I seriously considered transferring somewhere else after my first week here. It was easily the worst week of my life. Not because anything seriously bad happened, but that week I learned how important having a good roommate is. I did not have one. It is amazing the effect one person can have on you. I was honestly scared to be in the same room with her. I have never honestly been scared of someone like I was of her. The death glares alone had me wanting to go home. And I was physically sick before I got out of that room.

I wish I could say that things started coming up like roses after I moved, but it has taken me the entire rest of the year to get past that horrible first week. It was weeks before I stopped being constantly tensed and of course, by the time you are two weeks into the year, everyone but you already has a best friend. Basically, I found myself in a situation not unlike the one I faced in high school. My only friends were my teachers, many of which became my saving graces first semester.

Truly, my first semester was just a terrible experience, the only bright side was that I didn’t do much outside of class (as much as I wanted to be involved, I just didn’t have it in me) so my grades were fantastic. Most people would think that I am crazy for coming back for a second semester. I know a lot of people who have dropped out not having an experience as bad as mine, but I just felt like God was telling me to give App another chance. So I went home over winter break, re-evaluated my life, and I decided to put that bad semester behind me. I changed my routine, my wardrobe, even the design of my room. I wanted to start fresh, and doing that has been so much better.

I’m still not the biggest fan of the west side of campus, there are just some things that will always have bad memories associated with it, but I’m doing a lot better. I actually feel comfortable here and for the first time, I have the drive to do something with other people. I got involved with a church group, and made my first real friends here. I also have gotten a lot better at not worrying and even though I still hate the weather, the campus is growing on me.

It is still weird being by myself a hundred miles away from home, having to make decisions for myself, but it’s not so hard anymore. Even with all of the bad things, I can honestly say that I don’t regret coming here. I’m even thinking of getting more involved on campus; maybe joining a sorority or trying out for an acapella group next year. I’m not there yet, but I am making progress, and I am very happy with it. 

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