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Mr. Sigma Kappalachian

Mr. Sigma Kappalachian is a fraternity men’s parody pageant to raise money for one of Sigma Kappa Sorority’s philanthropies. The philanthropy Sigma Kappa supported through this event was the Sigma Kappa Foundation. 

Mr. Sigma Kappalachian consisted of three different categories with a total of thirteen contestants. The men competed in a formal wear category, and on-stage interview, and a talent portion. 

Contestant number one was Phi Kappa Tau’s Erik Zalinov. When asked who Zalinov gave the credit to who he is, he stated that he gave credit to his mother. She came to America from Armenia and worked her way up from nothing to give Erik the life he has now. In the talent competition, he recited a poem in Russian. His accent was great, and you wouldn’t even know he was actually American.

Representing Phi Gamma Delta, contestant number two was Cameron Duncan. If Cameron won the $900 million lottery, he said he would donate it all to Sigma Kappa’s philanthropy. When he was asked to describe his personality, he said, “Make America great again.” Cameron’s talent was to eat as many chicken wings as he could in five minutes. As he ate his chicken wings, an Usher song really set the mood and got the crowd pumped. At the end of five minutes of chicken wing eating and subtle dancing to Usher, Cameron ate fourteen chicken wings. 

Tau Kappa Epsilon’s Charles Plummer was asked what he would do if he was president, and his reply was to smoke a cigar in the oval office because America is the greatest nation on the planet. With the help on the guitar of one of his fellow TKE brothers, Charles sang Jesse McCartney’s “Beautiful soul”. The guitar and vocals sounded great together, and they stole the hearts of a lot of girls in the audience with the Jesse McCartney throwback.

Devon Tucker represented Delta Sigma Phi as contestant number four. He was asked to share his biggest regret, and he replied with rushing in the spring instead of in the fall. For the talent portion, Tucker walked onto the stage wearing freakishly short shorts and flip flops with his guitar. He set the mood for Spring Break by singing by singing Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville, and by the end of the performance, everyone was wishing they were on a beach somewhere.

Sigma Nu’s Matt Howes was contestant number five. If he could travel anywhere in the world, he would go to Australia to visit the Australia Zoo. His one wish would be to meet Steve Irwin, and he loves Steve Irwin. For his talent, he sang a song called “Little Potato” and it was a huge crowd pleaser. He had some pretty great dance moves to go along with it, and the song made some people in the audience pretty hungry with all the singing about food.

Contestant number six was Sigma Alpha Epsilon’s Duncan Kennedy. Our hostesses asked him where he saw himself in ten years, he explained that he wants to have a stable job, be married for five years, and have a kid on the way. His hero is Jimi Hendrix because he is one of the greatest musicians of all time. His talent was an absolutely amazing acoustic mashup of “I Want You Back” by the Jackson 5 and Jack Johnson’s “Better Together.” It was impossible not to dance, and after that performance, it would be surprising if he did not have at least twenty girls in line to date him.

Next up, Harry Meagher rolled up in his roller skates and represented Delta Tau Delta as contestant number seven. Harry was asked if he would choose world peace or ridding the world of hunger, and his reply was very popular with the crowd. He decided that he would first focus on world peace, and then the world would be able to get along long enough to focus resources on hunger. He was then asked which Nicholas Sparks movie he would be in and with help from the crowd, he chose “The Notebook”. He performed the first half of the dance from “Napoleon Dynamite”. He had some great moves and it was evident that he definitely practiced.

Alpha Tau Omega’s contestant number eight was Jackson Tally. Three things he would take to a deserted island would be his phone, its charger, and some wifi to keep in contact with other people. If he could change one thing about himself, he would add five inches to his height. His talent was a performance of one of his original songs and someone needs to call Nashville because this guy needs a record deal. His runs were better than Mariah Carey and if he wasn’t taken, (sorry ladies!) the ladies would have been all over him.

Contestant number nine was Malik Simpson representing Kappa Alpha Psi. If he could date any Disney character, it would be Minnie Mouse because of her ears and his celebrity crush is Scarlet Johansson because of her lips. For his talent, he selected Sigma Kappa’s beautiful Brooke Arcilesi to be a part of it. He started out with an inspirational spoken word poem and then, suddenly, his jacket came off and he sure did Shimmy Like a Nupe! The crowd went nuts.

Theta Chi’s contestant number ten was Austin Roberts, who described his perfect date as going on a boat, cooking some “dank” food, and eating said “dank” food as the sun sets. His greatest achievement has been going to college, getting good grades, and making his father happy. In the talent portion, he put his own twist on a country song called “I Would Die a Happy Man.” His performance was flawless and surely he melted the hearts of some ladies in the room.

Contestant number eleven was Delta Chi’s Bernard Bukowski. When asked whether he preferred fire or water, he chose fire because his nickname is “Burn.” His has a passion for the friendships he has made. Bernard was Napoleon Dynamite number two, dancing the second half of the routine. He definitely looked the part, complete with a blonde curly wig, the “Vote for Pedro” shirt, and fake glasses. 

Phi Sigma Kappa’s Colby Anderson was contestant number twelve. If he could take any celebrity to dinner, he said he would take all of the Sigma Kappas. He was also asked which came first, the chicken or the egg, and he chose the egg. During the talent competition, he shot hockey pucks through hula hoops. Colby has been playing hockey since he was a year and a half old. He chose two judges to hold the hula hoops, and if he made three out of the four pucks into the hula hoops, one of them had to go on a date with him. He did, in fact, make three out of the four, but we haven’t gotten a followup on how the date went yet.

Last, but not least, Kendrick Dawson represented Phi Beta Sigma as contestant number thirteen. His most influential person is his dad and his key to success is achieving goals and being happy all the time. He is a huge supporter of Alzheimers Research, which is one of Sigma Kappa’s national philanthropies. In the talent portion of the competition, he started out dancing to the song “Jump” and then broke out into a stepping routine. His rhythm was on point and he was just like “Happy Feet” himself.

The contestants were asked to raise money in mason jars before the show, and Kappa Alpha Psi raised the most money, with Sigma Alpha Epsilon in second, and Phi Sigma Kappa in third place. 

This event could not have been possible without Sigma Kappa’s Philanthropy chair, Kylie Brown. She used many strategies while planning this event after realizing it was scheduled for the week of midterms. She decided to get almost everything done the week before the event. PR was a huge help for this event and she sure did do a lot of it! “I blew up people’s Facebook with our event page, texting people, and our contact tables! I feel like this was super beneficial with our turn out and our support received!”

There were some stressful bits and pieces, but overall the event was a success. The main struggle was not having working microphones, but the men were great sports about it, and they made the best of the situation.

Overall, Kylie was pleased with the event, but if she could do anything differently, she said it would be to raise the ticket prices a little bit to increase profit for the Sigma Kappa Foundation.

“At the end of the day it wasn’t Miss United States, it was a philanthropy event and we were able to raise money for the Sigma Kappa Foundation. All the guys were awesome and great sports about it. All of my sisters and friends were also super supportive and we had a lot of fun doing it,” Kylie said.

When it came time to announce the winner, everyone was anxious to see who would be crowned Mr. Sigma Kappalachian. Second runner up was Matt Howes from Sigma Nu and first runner up was Kendrick Dawson from Phi Beta Sigma. This year’s Mr. Sigma Kappalachian is Malik Simpson from Kappa Alpha Psi!

“Honestly, that was probably the most fun I’ve had with any PanHellenic organization. I had an amazing time representing Kappa Alpha Psi, and I am proud and honored to by Mr. Sigma Kappalachian,” said Malik.

Overall, Sigma Kappa raised $2,500 for the Sigma Kappa Foundation. It was definitely a night full of laughs and amazing talent, and we can’t wait for next year’s pageant!

Christiana is a Senior at Appalachian State, where she is an Elementary Education major. She is the Editor in Chief of Her Campus App State and a sister of Sigma Kappa Sorority and serves as her chapter's Vice President of Scholarship. In her free time, Christiana likes to look at cute pictures of puppies, watch Netflix, and eat Ben and Jerry's Half Baked ice cream. She hopes to be a Kindergarten teacher one day, and to be a role model for elementary schoolers everywhere.
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