I'm About To Graduate And I'm Unprepared

I’ve always been prepared.

Ever since I can remember I’ve been  prepared for the next thing. Week, semester, year, you name it. I’ve always been a huge planner.

Ready for the next task that got me closer to being an adult and having the perfect career in the perfect city.

Now I’m less than two months away from graduating college and I have nothing planned.

And I’m freaking out. I don’t have the perfect job, or even a potential job at this point. I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. For the first time. I’m not sure of where I’m going to live, if I’ll have a place to live when my lease runs out, nothing.

All throughout college I put all the effort into planning my life out, I always knew what was next, what classes, sorority events, club events.

What no one ever tells you, no matter how much you plan your life through college, it doesn’t always equate to the entirety of your future being planned. And that’s okay.

Through the unknown I’m starting to live my last semester of college more in the moment, without the stress of planning the next school year.  I can allow myself to be more present that I have in the last few months.

In not knowing where I’m headed next, I have found great freedom. I can do whatever I want. I can run away to the Caribbean and sell rum on the beach, I can backpack through Europe, I can move across the county or right back home.

Without the plan, I can tailor my future to wherever my heart is pulled to. I only have a moment, but I have the whole world left to see.

Not planning is my answer to the greatest freedom I’ve ever felt.

I can do whatever I want.