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How Spring Break Really Works

When college girls envision their spring break, it’s usually a cross between “Spring Breakers” and Mtv’s Spring Break Special.  Essentially, every girl wants to come back with the best stories about how their spring break excursions went.  Even though acquiring these stories may end in the loss of your liver and copious amounts of aloe vera, it’s totally worth it.  After college, you don’t have a chance to have “spring break,” so you might as well live it up now.  Usually this vision doesn’t go totally as planned, but goes something more like this: 

1. Attempt to lose 30 pounds the week before spring break.

2. Seriously if #1 is possible, share your wisdom.

3. Buy four new bikinis from Victoria’s Secret.

4. Return one because another girl in your group got the same one.

5. Go to the liquor store to stock up for the week while trying to ignore the judgmental glare from the cashier.

6.  Buy the most recent Nicholas Sparks book to read on the beach (even though this book will never be opened).

7.  Stock up on healthy snacks for the beach (to avoid bloating).

8.  Make an “SB 2k15” playlist to blast on the road trip.

9. Arrive at your destination and immediately take an Instagram pic with the caption “finally arrived!”

10. Drink margaritas.

11. LOTS of margaritas.

12. Find a cute group of boys from another college to bond with for the week.

13. Immediately claim one as your own, basically spring break boyfriend.

14. Lose this group of boys after the first day since no one exchanged numbers or made real plans.

15. Take 1,000 pictures until you find the one where you look deceivingly thin, and then Instagram it.

16. Take a tequila shot (put on snapchat story).

17. Day drink… all day.

18. Eat mac ‘n’ cheese, then pass out for three hours.

19.  Rally and go out on the town (probably Senor Frogs).

20. Wake up with seven random numbers in your phone of “best friends” you met at the bar and are supposed to meet up with on the beach today.

21. You don’t meet up because both parties are too hungover to be social with strangers.

22.  Order a pizza for breakfast.

23.  Go out on the beach (even though you’re bloated) to tan because you have to be tanner than everyone else when you get back.

24. Strategically lay on your stomach to hide your bloat.

25. Repeat steps 17-23 for five days straight.

Once all is said and done, and your sick of the “SB 2k15” playlist and it feel as though no amount of aloe vera can soothe the sun burn you got on the second day, you have no regrets about your spring break.  You achieved what you set out to do which was have a great time with your college best friends, and possibly make a few poor choices along the way.  Even though you have a hangover that feels like it may last for the next year and you have $10 left in your bank account it was all worth it.

spring breakers  cover photo hung over

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