Disillusionment and Responsibility 

The distinction between happiness and raging fear echoes within each other and blends in meaning and feeling.  The sides of my lips curl up and my cheeks feel full, but in my stomach, I’m scared to let myself go there all the way. It is agreed: all people deserve happiness, so why is it the case that we experience self-sabotage and crippling anxiety?

eyeglasses with gray frames on the top of notebook Photo by Dan Dimmock from Unsplash I would answer that it is the human condition that causes all our worldly suffering, the fear that everything will change and that joy will fade away into loss and pain. In recent news, I have felt myself thriving and soaking in pure happiness on a daily basis. When I step back and look at what is happening, I feel accomplished and happy for myself. I wake up in the morning and dance, celebrate every day, and have people around me doing the same. I have settled into new friendships and see purpose in all my days. Viewing happiness as something that can be depleted teaches us to view ourselves as vehicles of emotions.

Happiness is more than emotion; it is a state of mind. 

It will not last forever. I remind myself that almost every day. It’s unavoidable. Humans grasp and attach themselves to our relationships, and there is always the possibility of loss standing on the other side. It’s hard not to get caught up in the fear of losing happiness, especially when you know what it’s like to feel so opposite that you honestly cannot imagine going back. We attach the responsibility of our contentment to people and objects instead of seeing ourselves at the source. When we view ourselves as the source of happiness, we can never get rid of it because we permanently reside with ourselves, although people leave. 

glasses on notebook Photo by Dan Dimmock from Unsplash So what? Everything could change, and you will experience pain and hardship. I think that from a happy person’s perspective, the prospect of losing it comes from insecurity. It’s way harder to work on yourself when you feel comfortable because the ease of life lets you slip into complacency and disillusionment. Once in this space of pure enjoyment, we forget that we brought this happiness upon ourselves. 

Happiness seems transparent when we look too close, we can see the fear lining the inside of our stomachs, and we freeze. I have been working on being happy for myself to enjoy the wonders of life unconditionally. Humans view everything as dependent and conditional; if this happens they will be unhappy, if they think this, then my feelings will feel like this. We base our feelings on predictions and other people. The nature of peace and serenity is eternal. We chose to change our mindset to see the beauties in our lives and feel the happiness awaken inside us. Lack of attachment to other people and objects is not sustainable happiness. We have to understand that the good we are experiencing is the execution of our own minds.

We forget that happiness is brought upon us by ourselves.

Magnifying Glass and Book Photo by João Silas on Unsplash