For the last year, I’ve been working at a top-scale fine dining restaurant, and WOW, the things I’ve learned.
1. There has never been anything slower in this entire world than an old person eating a salad. 2. Without fail, rich people will sit with their plate scraped clean in front of them and say “I hated it.” The AUDACITY. 3. If you don’t know what a medium-rare steak is and you send it back because it’s medium-rare, you don’t look sophisticated. You look like an ass. 4. Sorry, gluten free people. Good luck. 5. If there is some small problem with your drink know that we are taking it out of sight to “fix” that small problem and bringing the same drink straight back. 6. If you’re planning on having lots of drinks, please God, don’t order something you must eat with your hands. 7. Lastly, as you’re eating, remember that the people who work to make it for you probably put in an eighty-hour week to make it.