When you intentionally hurt someone’s feelings, you apologize. When you know you are in the wrong, you apologize. When you lie, cheat, steal, you apologize. And then you apologize some more.
It’s pretty black and white; we apologize when we realize our actions have negatively impacted another person. So why is it that we are constantly apologizing to other people for our actions that have no effect on anyone else but ourselves? Why do we feel the need to constantly justify our actions to people who are just being nosy? Your life will be more yours if you just stop apologizing for:
1. What you’re feeling.
You never need to apologize to anyone for an emotion. If you’re mad at your best friend, let yourself feel mad. If you’re sad over a breakup, let yourself feel sad. Just let yourself feel; it’s the healthiest thing you can do. No one has the right to make you question a feeling or justify your reasoning behind it. You only need to apologize if and when you act in a negative way based on your emotions. So, no, it is not okay to be a psycho ex girlfriend because of your broken heart. And, no, it is not okay to return to your middle school ways and start rumors about your best friend because you two are fighting. Feel whatever you want to feel, but don’t let your emotions override your intellect.
1. …Or not feeling.
Sure, he’s nice, smart, and polite. Everything is great on paper. But if you’re not feeling it, then you’re just not feeling it. Nothing is wrong with him. Nothing is wrong with you. It just isn’t there. So when your girlfriends are calling you insane for turning down “Mr. Right,” just turn another ear. You can’t fake what isn’t there, so you shouldn’t feel bad about being honest with yourself.
2. Cutting out certain people from your life.
They say you should build bridges, not burn them. But in some cases, burning that bridge is the best thing you can do for yourself. Sure, you might have a history with that person, your family might love them, and you probably had some great memories with them over the years. But if somewhere along the way they end up causing more harm than good, then sometimes you need to cut ties. If you both handle the situation in a mature and civil way, then there is no need to apologize. You aren’t being hateful; you’re respecting yourself.
3. Binge watching Netflix on a Friday night instead of going out.
Everyone needs a break from nightlife every once in a while. Sometimes a Grey’s Anatomy marathon on your couch trumps the college bar scene. You don’t need an excuse to have a relaxing night and you don’t need to feel bad for taking it easy instead of going out with your friends.
4. Having multiple friend groups.
College is a melting pot of thousands of people. If you’re lucky enough to have multiple friend groups, then you’re lucky enough. Juggling friend groups is easier said than done, but as long as you’re not neglecting people, then you shouldn’t feel guilty about broadening your horizons. The more the merrier.
5. Making yourself happy.
As long as your happiness does not rely on someone else’s unhappiness, then you owe no explanation or apology to anyone. We are at the point in our lives where we are figuring out our futures and what we want out of life. What makes you happy in life may not be the same as what makes your boyfriend happy, or your best friend happy, or your family happy, but that doesn’t make it wrong. We can’t expect everyone to grow and change at the same rate, so don’t apologize for trying to figure it all out.
Don’t apologize for things you don’t need to be sorry for because, in the wise words of B Spears circa 2004, it’s your perogative.