Have you ever been in a situation where a friend, family member, or acquaintance has confided in you about something? What did you tell them? What did you do? What did you say? More importantly, did you listen?
When it comes to situational awareness, not many people understand the importance and power behind being a good listener. When you listen to someone, there is a mutual understanding of trust, vulnerability, and connection. Listening to a person talk about their day, event, or situation lets the person know you care about them and their situation (whether it be good or bad). I know from personal experience, having someone listen to you is an amazing feeling. A good listener makes you feel that your feelings are real and your emotions are valid: You feel empowered and on top of the world. Now that we have a simple understanding of the importance of being a good listener, let’s talk about how you can be one.
- Let’s have some empathy
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Empathy, the ability to understand, and all that jazz. Most people nowadays forget about empathy and the importance of it. Growing up, I was taught to always put myself in other’s shoes and then ask myself, “How do I feel?” When your friends, family, partners, and others tell you something, good or bad, remember to put yourself in their position and ask, “How would I feel?” Doing this is a great way to understand how or why they’re feeling the way they are.
- Participate
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Being a good listener doesn’t mean you can’t respond. When you feel the need to speak or input your own thoughts, don’t be afraid to do so. Say what you need to say to continue the conversation.
- Know when enough is enough
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This last tip can be a tough one. You may come across moments in your life when someone is rambling on and on about something; don’t be afraid to stop the conversation. One way to know the conversation is over is when you or the other person begin to feel uncomfortable or too emotional to properly formulate thoughts or ideas. An example of this would be if you see your friend starting to cry or say things that aren’t true; at this point, stop the conversation, explain why you’re stopping it, and move on. Although this can be difficult, they will thank you in the end. Another example would be if your friend is non-stop talking about sexy time with her boyfriend. While she is probably super excited about the topic, you may not be and that’s okay. Switch to a topic where you can both be active listeners and equally engage in that conversation.
Being a good listener is hard and can be very challenging at times – I’m still not perfect and always learning how to improve. While there are many more tips on how to be a good listener, these three should help set you on the right path. Good luck babes and I’ll see you next week!