135 days until I walk across the stage as a college graduate. It’s funny because when I was younger I watched my two oldest brothers graduate (kind of, one walked and one played in a baseball tournament instead, but nonetheless he was done). When they were graduating I looked at them thinking they were so old, grown up, and everything I hoped to be one day, in female form of course.
Now I find myself in their shoes. I find myself at their age. The age I longed to be whenever I was younger. I find myself thinking I should feel grown up since that’s how I viewed them for so long, when in reality, I don’t necessarily feel grown up at all.
Of course in some ways I feel more grown up than ever. Thank goodness I grew out of my high school ways – irrational and childish ways of thinking. Am I really supposed to encompass the feeling of a “grown-up” when I don’t even really know what my next step is?
135 days. That’s how many days I have left with my roommates, who have changed me in just one short year, my best friends, my acquaintances that I say hello to on the way to class, the professors and faculty members that have taught and helped me over the years, the sorority that although difficult sometimes, has most definitely been the biggest positive influence during my college years. Then there’s the gym that I go to and the Chipotle I’ve spent way too much money in. There’s the Boone Walmart that is always overcrowded, my room at the top of the stairs, and the back road that I take to class every day. Is that really all going away in 135 short days?
As I enter this last semester, one would think I would have a different mindset: to enjoy the last moments, or spend time with more people, or whatever people start to think whenever a part of a journey is coming to a close.
However, I haven’t seen it that way. I like what I do. I like the amount of time I spend doing the things I like to do. I like my routine, and to change something that’s already good, well that would not be a good way to end this chapter. Nonetheless, I can’t wait to enjoy the last part of my college journey. Maybe soon I’ll get that grown up feeling?
135 days. Where will my life take me after my 135 days are up?