Even though Amherst is such a small school, there are definitely overarching groups of people. This is especially true for guys. Despite only having been here about a month, the categories are starting to break down for me. People within these are individuals for sure– they just happen to share some pretty specific characteristics.
The Prep
He dresses like we have Greek life at Amherst– his closet seems to be solely composed of Vineyard Vines, Patagonia, and clothes with the American flag on that. His favorite color is salmon, apparently, and he may not know that baseball caps were originally intended to face forward. Even if he didn’t go to prep school, he’s really proud of his east coast roots.
The Guy Who Knows Your Name Despite You Not Knowing His
You’ve drunkenly met in the socials on at least half-a-dozen occasions. The time to ask has passed, especially since every time he sees you he’ll smile and greet you by name. You could definitely ask a friend who he is, but face it, you’ll forget immediately.
The Athlete
Going to Val with this guy is an experience. He eats more food in a meal than you do all day, and fills up every blank space on his tray with cups. His bond with his teammates is ridiculously strong, but becoming friends with him means gaining the friendship of his entire team.
The Guy From Your Floor
Does he exist outside of your floor? You don’t know. You wave at each other on your way to class or the bathroom every day, and you may even sit near him at tea time, but the guy never seems to leave your dorm.
The Mysterious Hot Guy
Despite Amherst being tiny, you’ve never technically met this guy, even though you really, really want to. If you don’t know his name, you at least have a secret identifier for him. Love at first sight can be one-way, right?
The Guy You’ve Hooked Up With Who Still Acts a Little Weird About It
Your relationship epitomizes Amherst Awkward. It only happened one time, but he seems to let it define who you are completely. You wave when you see him, but he’s still working on getting eye contact with you down. What’s worse is, since you hooked up, he seems to be everywhere.