Known for his spunky personality, generous attitude, fabulous style and genuine heart, Jonathan Van Ness of the hit Netflix TV show “Queer Eye” has spoken out about his life with H.I.V, addictions and as a survivor of sexual assault.
In an interview with The New York Times, Jonathan Van Ness (JVN) was described as nervous and not the lively character his fans of “Queer Eye” are familiar with. The anxiety, however, was not because of his interview, but rather about his upcoming memoir “Over the Top” and the topics he opens up about.
JVN was fortunate enough to grow up in a family where he was allowed to embrace his feminie side – he credits his mother specifically as being his best friend. The New York Times article reflects on his time in high school and his daring move to break through stereotypical gender norms to become the school’s first male cheerleader. The show “Queer Eye” even dedicated an episode to his hometown and music teacher whom they gave the ever-famous Fab 5 makeover to. However, though the episode showed JVN rejoining the cheerleading squad and being embraced by the community, that was not always the case when he cheered as a high school student. The reality of those games for teenage JVN included typical jeers from the crowd and beer bottles thrown at him.
“I was too fat, too femme, too loud and too unlovable,” JVN said while recalling those four years.
JVN’s struggle with confidence stemmed much deeper than high school bullies, however. JVN exposed a wound that he delves even deeper into in his upcoming memoir: as a young child, he was sexually assaulted by an older boy from his church.
“For a lot of people who are survivors of sexual assault at a young age, we have a lot of compounded trauma,” he said. And it wasn’t until later in therapy it was revealed to JVN that the abuse he faced in his young life played a huge role in his following “self destructive behaviors”.
JVN’s addictions began in his early teenage years when he would message with older men on AOL and meet up with them for sex. In addition to this, when his stepfather passed away, JVN gained 70 pounds in three months from binge eating.
It’s not surprising to hear that JVN was more than ready to leave Quincy High School. So he earned enough extra credit to enter the University of Arizona in Tucson rather than endure senior year of high school. However, during his first semester, be spent the entirety of his $200 monthly allowance (given to him by his mother) on cocaine. Feeling too humiliated and guilty to ask his mother for more money, he joined Gay.com and exchanged sex for cash. At 19, he failed out of college and went back to Illinois.
After that set-back, it seemed JVN was turning his life around. He completed Aveda Institute’s 11-month beautician program in Minneapolis and eventually made the move out to Los Angeles. There, he worked at a Sally Hershberger salon. Despite all of this progress, however, JVN’s addictions in his 20s only intensified as he was introduced to smoking methamphetamine by a couple he met on social media site Grindr.
After going to rehab twice, he relapsed both times. One day, while in the salon, he fainted in the middle of working on a client. Experiencing flu-like symptoms, he went to Planned Parenthood the next day where they confirmed it wasn’t the flu, but a positive H.I.V. diagnosis.
“That day was just as devastating as you would think it would be,” he writes in his upcoming book.
This was his true turning point. JVN told the Times that he hasn’t done hard drugs in years. He began a new life in Los Angeles where he has been met with smashing success. First, it was a comedy parady series entitled “Gay of Thrones” which has been nominated for three Creative Arts Emmys. Then, in 2016, JVN auditioned for Netflix’s “Queer Eye”. And the rest is history.
“When ‘Queer Eye’ came out, it was really difficult because I was like, ‘Do I want to talk about my status?,” he told the Times when talking about his decision of whether or not to come forward with so much personal information. “And then I was like, ‘The Trump administration has done everything they can do to have the stigmatization of the L.G.B.T. community thrive around me.’” After a paused, he said, “I do feel the need to talk about this.”
“I want people to realize you’re never too broken to be fixed,” JVN says. This message and much more is what he hopes is conveyed in his new memoir “Over the Top” which comes out September 24.