Communication is KEY
Yes, I know this is what everyone is telling you. But how, specifically, do you implement this? There are many ways to communicate with your partner, even from across the country. Conversations, conflict resolution, and picking up on body language and nonverbal cues (perhaps on a video call) are all examples of communication in a relationship.
When your partner has had a bad day, encourage them to talk about it. If they aren’t the oversharing type, instead opt for open-ended questions to get them easily talking about it. You don’t want to come across as prying or interrogative, though, so make sure you’re choosing your words delicately and reminding your partner that you are here for them, even if not physically.
Effective Conflict Resolution
As far as arguments go, they will come up. Even in the most healthy, near-perfect relationship, partners will disagree on things. It’s not about avoiding the conflict, but rather, how you deal with it.
“Our natural inclination is to get defensive and to cut off communication with the intent to protect ourselves” (MarriageTrac.com). However, while this may work in the short-term, it’s important to deal with conflict head-on so as not to build resentment between you and your partner. When dealing with conflict, remind yourselves that it’s you and your partner against the problem, not you against your partner. By aligning yourself with your significant other, it reminds you both that you’re not going through this alone, and that you can get through it together. Take responsibility for your actions, be open to how your actions made you feel, and apologize sincerely, if you are at fault, even if it means swallowing your pride. Lastly, and my personal favorite piece of advice: never go to bed angry.
Make time for your partner
This is a big one, and it can show itself in many different ways. Whether it’s a quick text between classes, watching a Netflix show together, or even finding a time to visit in person, there’s nothing like quality time to remind both you and your partner why you decided to be together in the first place.
One of the best things that came from the pandemic is a lot of innovation surrounding new ways to connect with people virtually. Of course, there’s Zoom, FaceTime, and text, but you can take it one step further. There are virtual museum tours, online painting and cooking classes, and platforms for virtual dates. These are fun ways to spice up the normal FaceTime calls by giving you both an actual date to go on. So grab a cup of coffee, call your partner via Zoom or FaceTime, and have a virtual date!
Learn about you and your partner’s love languages
If you’ve never heard of love languages, your mind is about to be blown. “Love languages are the ways that people seek and understand emotional love. There are five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch” (Habits for Wellbeing).
Everyone speaks different love languages, which is why it is so important to know your partner’s so you can effectively communicate and satisfy their needs. In fact, many disagreements in relationships are a result of not knowing your partner’s love language. For example, if your love language is receiving gifts, you may automatically think that that is also your partner’s love language, so you buy them a lot of gifts. However, if their love language is actually quality time, they will feel neglected and unloved if you are replacing your time with them with gifts. A fun activity to do with your partner is to take the 5 Love Languages quiz, so you can both be aware of how the other person likes to be loved.
So now you know each other’s love languages…what now? It’s important to now think of creative ways to keep your partner feeling loved. For example, if their love language is physical touch and you live one thousand miles away, you’re definitely going to need some creativity. Bond Touch bracelets, albeit pricey, are a great gift for a partner who loves physical touch, as they are bracelets connected through an app that buzzes every time you tap them. Sometimes a physical buzz from your partner is enough to feel close to them. Want more ideas for how to express your love in your LDR with the other four love languages? Visit this blog post on “Lauren on Location,” a personal blog.
Photos: Her Campus Media Library