Dear Hangry Customer,
Hello, we’ve already established a relationship based on our mutual interest in food and dining at this fine establishment. Although I’m sure you have many wonderful qualities, please kindly take two steps back. Yes, I understand that you’re hungry. I am too, but no matter how many times you huff and puff, you won’t blow this line down.
The people responsible for preparing our orders are not purposely extending the length of our stay. So when it does come time to order, please restrain yourself from expressing your frustration. Working in the food industry involves a high stress environment that is based around responding to specific product demands. If roles were reversed, a smile from a customer would provide a sense of relief beyond the stresses of timely food preparation. Be that person for them.
To those who come with friends, please be courteous. Increasing the volume of your frustrations won’t solve anything. As we already know, the way we treat people says a lot about our character, and hanger is no exception to this ideal.
Although it may seem the only solution to your hunger, is un-devoted attention and immediate result, the world does not always revolve in our favor. Prevent impatient behavior by carrying around a granola bar, or utilize those small plastic bags no one ever thought would appear beyond elementary packed lunches. There is no shame in public snacking, take advantage of this general acceptance. As for a distraction, take this time to display your positive qualities through conversation with those who accompany you. These topics could range from the latest headlines to last night’s events (within reason, refer to paragraph three). And if you’re flying solo, Buzzfeed quizzes.
Of course, these are merely suggestions. Be creative, and try your best to just tame the inner “hangry.”
From one hanger victim to another,
Your new line acquaintance