As a self-proclaimed singleton, I never in a million years thought I would find someone to connect to during quarantine. However, according to Julianne Holt-Lunstad, loneliness was the second pandemic to hit globally.
This hit me hard, as I went from spending all day every day with my friends, exploring the city of Madrid, or planning trips elsewhere to being stuck at my house for two weeks under quarantine. Without realizing it, I so badly craved a companion, whether that being a guy friend, girl friend or potentially someone I could be in a relationship with. Then, I met an incredible guy (who has allowed me to write this) and fast forward through five months of talking, we’ve agreed to stay friends since we are now thousands of miles away from each other. After looking back on this past month, here’s what I have learned and why I am a healthier person because of it.
- First Step:
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Take a break from your “someone,” even if it is for less than a day.
I have found that feeling dependent or scared to do this is completely normal. Eventually, I stopped looking at the minutes that passed between when I snapped him or waiting a certain amount of time to respond to him.
- Second Step:
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Is there anything you need to say to them?
If you are still on amicable terms with your someone and feel as if they need to hear some thoughts for you to move on, tell them you want to have that conversation. Work with them, see how they are feeling, and do not forget they are human too. COVID-19 (and college) has intruded on our ability to talk to people in person, so I recommend setting up a FaceTime calls to make your relationship as human as possible, even if it was mainly through an application.
- Third Step:
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Do not feel the need to immediately try to “get over them.”
They were in your life for a reason and there is so much to learn from the relationship. Washington D.C., as a college town, has plenty of fish in the sea. But unless you have fully grieved your time, it might be more detrimental to see someone else. If you are a person who likes to hop back into the dating scene, then that is not a problem either, just be careful with COVID-19. I’ve realized that Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and dating applications overall, in particular, help get some of the attention we all crave, but it does not completely mend the place your someone had.
It was not always fun, but sometimes being friends with someone is better than the relationship you both had.
I cannot stress the importance of having a two-way communication line (if possible). Feelings and adulting are hard and maybe this person is more suited to be part of your support system rather than a significant other. Do not lose hope, but stay in this reality and stay safe.