This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at American chapter.
“This guy and I have been talking for a while and we spend hours having a great time laughing. He’s been really busy lately with his pledge duties and now only responds to my texts at midnight with something like ‘come up to my room now.’ I made it clear that if he was looking for something physical that he should keep looking. Does he really want to be involved with me or am I just his ticket to a good time?”
It sounds like you didn’t make it all that clear that you are no “ticket to a good time” if he is still sending texts like that.
If you are questioning this situation, I wonder if you know your own feelings for him. The way that this question and situation is presented, I infer (SAT review word of the week) that “come up to my room now” is followed by the thought of “so we can get down.” And I’m sure you know what that means. Now even if this is true, he still could want to be involved with you. In other words, you might be his ticket to a good time, but he could also be your ticket to a good time. Party of two, now calling, party of two. If you don’t want that, then don’t go.
Now, my bro side is coming out; this is the side of me that wants to protect my fellow brethren and not betray him by telling a girl he likes that she should not hang out with him. Here goes my bro side defense of my fellow bro’s actions:
He could also just be really busy during the day time and want to hang out with you and catch up on all that laughing that you two do together when he is not busy. Being tired, his texting capabilities have deteriorated, and he texts in only commands (probably because he’s been barked at by the older fraternity brothers all day). However, he still wants to see you because despite the mounting class work that he should do, he would much rather trade in studying for a test, writing a paper, and simply getting sleep, just to laugh a few hours with you.
Yeah, do you see how bad that sounds? I tried, man, I tried.
Now I’ll switch back to Doc mode. If you know what you want, be it a one time hook up, friend with benefits, or just a friend to laugh with but not get physical with, you have the ability to make it happen and should make it happen. If you like the times that you have spent with this guy, as a friend and not more than friends, then don’t go up to his room and keep it in the friend zone. Hang out with him when he isn’t ordering you to come to his abode at midnight. If you want to explore what he means by “come up to my room now” then just beware of the implications that come with those words.
Relationship drama? Don’t know what he’s thinking? Submit a question to the guy-necologist, the ladies’ doctor.