Do you ever feel like you are constantly surrounded by people, and you sometimes just need time to yourself? Or that all your friends are always hanging out being social, and even though you want to join them, you also want to snuggle up in your bed and watch Netflix? These are common dilemmas that many introverts face. Sometimes being an introvert can get a bad rap. From the terms “loner” to “unsocial,” introverts are often branded with inaccurate labels. Being an introvert means that you get your energy by being alone whereas extroverts feed off of the energy of others. Introverts usually enjoying hanging out with smaller groups of people, observe situations before jumping in, and usually prefer things to be planned rather than spontaneous. On the other side of the spectrum, extroverts would usually rather be in large crowds of people, jump right in to new situations, and enjoy the element of surprise. Being an introvert or extrovert is not as black and white as being shy or outgoing. You can be a shy extrovert or an outgoing introvert. The qualities that introverts and extroverts possess are much deeper than just how one interacts with others, and it is important to remember that most people are usually both a little introverted and a little extraverted.
College is a time of change for everyone. You have to deal with making new friends, living on your own, and tackling piles of schoolwork. College is difficult for both extroverts and introverts; however, being more introverted myself, I am going to focus mainly on the challenges introverts face in college. First off, in college you are constantly around people you know. You run into people in the library, at TDR, and even in the bathroom where you are compelled to make friendly small talk. For an introvert, making small talk can be agonizing. It is important to note that introverts don’t hate small talk because they hate talking to people or feel like they don’t need to take the time to ask someone else about their life. As Laurie Helgoe writes in her book, “Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is your Hidden Strength,” introverts are not fans of small talk because it puts up barriers between people and frankly it can just be awkward.
In addition to small talk, constantly being around people makes introverts feel guilty for choosing to not always go out and be social. Again, it isn’t because we hate people or think that we are too good to socialize with our peers. It’s is merely because introverts sometimes need some time to be alone and recharge. We get our energy from taking to time to be alone and unwind. Also, introverts usually feel more comfortable with a small group of people that they know well and can be themselves around, rather than a large group of people that they don’t know as well. That is why a big group of less familiar faces in the lounge can be very intimidating to an introvert; however, one on one, an introvert has no problem socializing with others.
Finally, a significant portion of college success relies on networking skills. If you are looking for a job, an internship or just trying out for a leadership position in a club, networking is necessary. As a college student, you quickly learn that the key to success is being able to talk about your strengths and talk to as many people as possible in order to build vital connections. Networking is hard for introverts, not because we are too humble to talk about ourselves, but because going up to complete strangers and convincing them why you are the best choice for the job, internship or club position is intimidating and can leave introverts feeling like a little fish in a massive ocean.
The dreaded small talk, constantly feeling the pressure to be social, and the fear of networking are a few examples of the challenges introverts face in college. To all you introverts out there, do not get discouraged by a few awkward conversations on the way to the bathroom or not knowing what to say to someone at a job fair; rather remember as an introvert you’ve been known to notice details other do not, look at the big picture in a situation, and are known to be great leaders and public speakers. And if these facts don’t make you embrace your introvert qualities, just remember Emma Watson, Lady Gaga and Christina Aguilera all consider themselves to be introverts!