Ask Her is Her Campus American’s first ever advice column and this is the second installment. If you would like to receive advice from our advice columnist, please submit a response here!
Dear Her: I kinda live my guy friend and I think he likes me but I’m not sure he’s ready to date. We’ve known each other for a while and I’m not sure how much I should try teasing and flirting or if I should just look elsewhere. Should I let myself develop feelings for my friend or try to date someone who is more ready/is more willing to be outward about pursuing me?
Sincerely, Friendship Feelings
Dear Friendship Feelings: The best relationships I have heard come from the people that know us best, and like my previous letter of advice, best friends know us the best. I would say continue to flirt and give it time, but some guys are very clueless and need the most help when they can get it, so one day when you are tired of the light bulb to go off let him on what’s going on. But also I am one for keeping options open, so look elsewhere but if he is foremost keep him that way. Also if you are getting the vibe that he is not ready to date don’t pressure him, forcing someone into a relationship isn’t good for either parties, emotionally and mentally. Fast forward, if he is not ready and not picking up on your many many signs, give people who are more forward with you a chance, if he’s the one he will come around in the future. Don’t limit experiences and lessons for someone who isn’t ready to share in the experience with you.
Take it slow and easy, he’ll come around if not… you know what you gotta do!
HCXO, Her
Sincerely, Lonely Girl
Dear Lonely Girl: TRUST! TRUST! TRUST! Long distance, any relationship it is all about trust girl! You have to trust him, even though guys can be quite stupid in the romantic regard you have to trust that he is as invested in this relationship as you are. You can’t decide how he values the relationship for him. Being confident for a relationship comes from more inner work than anything. You have to be confident in yourself, a fully invested in you emotional, physical, and mental well-being. I may not have much to go off of, but take the time to talk to him with no distractions. If he are feeling that he’s scared to commit, maybe try and see what about it is bothering him. Keeping the line of communication open so you both can tell each other what’s on your mind is so so crucial in relationships, ESPECIALLY in long distance.
Open the line of communication, and share with him your reservations, he might be feeling them too!
HCXO, Her
Dear Her: I really want to date someone. It’s not that my life is boring in fact my life is very busy. But I was wondering if it’s unhealthy to want to date. Is it ok to date?
Sincerely, Dating Desire
Dear Dating Desire: OH MY YES!!! of course it’s ok to date. But dating can be tricky especially when you are “looking.” There is a lot of stuff out there that when you aren’t looking love falls in you lap. I do not know if this is true, however, every time you choose you love yourself loudly and be your best self in the most upfront and unapologetic way. Set your countries and expectations of those coming into your life and you will attract only those ready to be in your life and worthy of your time. Don’t limit yourself to the first person that meets the standards, they will change when people enter your life and that’s ok. You deserve the love you desire, and it will find you when the time is right.
It’s a process, don’t rush it! Keep being your best self and rock the world! Your person will feel your vibrations and find you:)
HCXO, Her
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