There are all sorts of courtesies we take when interacting with our peers. We don’t comment that their haircut isn’t “our style,” we don’t openly sneer at their lipstick and we certainly don’t grab their bodies without permission. So why do we take such liberties when confronted with visible tattoos? For some reason, there is a misconception that privacy and autonomy just don’t apply when we interact with tattooed individuals. So, to add clarity, here are some do’s and don’ts when encountering visible tattoos:
1. DO NOT grab the other person’s tattooed skin. Why is this ever appropriate? Every individual is entitled to their personal space, regardless of how you feel about their body modification.
2. DO NOT ask how much money they spent on the art. If you’re asking me how much my lovely and specialized artwork costs because you’re planning for your own, then yeah, I’ll be willing to talk. But to ask for the sake of asking is rude. Especially if you respond to the answer dramatically.
3. DO NOT claim that a design is ugly or “not for you.” A person doesn’t get tattooed while taking YOUR style into account. It’s not your skin, so it’s not your place. And unless you know your way around line work, color, placement, amount of scarring, etc., you don’t know if a tattoo is bad or not.
4. DO NOT ask if it hurt. It did. Tattoos hurt, this isn’t obscure information. You can ask how MUCH it hurt, if you’re planning for yourself. Just remember that there isn’t a standard scale of pain, since everyone experiences pain differently.
5. DO NOT ask if the person has tattoos in “secret” places. First of all, there is no part of the human body that is secret. Second of all, what you really want to know is if I have a tattoo somewhere you have sexualized. Stop that, it’s gross.
6. DO NOT ask about the meaning. If someone wants you to know, they’ll tell you. Otherwise, it’s annoying and sometimes irrelevant since not all tattoos have special meanings.
7. DO compliment the work! A few different people’s blood, sweat and tears went into that piece of art! You’ll make someone’s day while respecting their bodily autonomy at the same time.
8. DO ask appropriate questions. If you’ve never been tattooed, you aren’t expected to know what it’s like. Just be courteous.