John Mulaney just won an Emmy and I feel like a proud mother. As someone who’s spent years telling everyone around me to watch John Mulaney’s specials, I was a bit over-excited to see him being recognized. Finally, my parents know this man that I’m constantly referencing. But, Emmy speeches are limited and there isn’t time to thank everyone. So let’s all take a moment to appreciate all the people that helped get him there. Here are five more people John Mulaney could’ve thanked in his Emmy speech.
Henry J. Finch IV
This man is the thousand-year-old owner of a web company where John Mulaney worked as a temp. His duckling days might be behind him but his wisdom is eternal. His unlimited crazy currency brought us the incredible (but debatable) proverb of “when one feels like a duck, one is happy.” So thank you, Mr. Finch, for being an inspiration to all of us.
Jake McNamara
When explaining why he doesn’t drink anymore, Mulaney tells the story of a wild party at this kid’s house in high school. This poor kid was probably disowned by his parents when they got home. Someone broke the pool table and someone took a sh*t on his dad’s computer. He never did get the antique pictures of his grandmother back, but John wouldn’t know anything about that because he didn’t go, or did he? Either way, Jake McNamara, we thank you for your sacrifice.
Detective JJ Bittenbinder
This man is responsible for the Bruno Mars of elementary school assemblies. His tricks aren’t just helpful in case of stranger danger; they’re also important life lessons. Sometimes, when you’re stuck in the trunk of life, you’ve just got to punch out the tail light and wave at oncoming motorists for help. So thank you to detective JJ Bittenbinder, for giving John Mulaney the street smarts to get to where he is today.
Petunia
Who can’t relate to a rant about how much someone loves their dog? John Mulaney’s French Bulldog is the alpha of his house has 88,000 followers on Instagram (myself included). Mulaney and his wife may eat dinner first but she is still the king, so she is absolutely deserving of a shout out.
Charles and Ellen Mulaney
Name a better duo, I’ll wait. One kills the children’s dreams and the other sees dead children. This power couple is responsible for some prime John Mulaney bits. Next time you and your mother are eating Triscuits in silence, remember you can always ask about potentially terrifying paranormal events from your childhood. For bringing us hits like “one black coffee” and “the other shoe just dropped,” we will forever be thankful.
John Mulaney’s Emmy winning special Kid Gorgeous, as well as his other specials New in Town and The Comeback Kid, can be found on Netflix. His special The Top Part is on both YouTube and Spotify and contains the iconic “Salt and Pepper Diner” bit that is responsible for drawing me into the world of John Mulaney.