I have to admit that my guilty pleasure is watching endless amount of Food Network shows while I work out at the campus gym. After watching copius episodes of Chopped, I honestly feel like I know the game better than the contestants do. Here are the top 27 thoughts you will have if you start watching Chopped religiously.
1. Only in Teen Chopped would a kid cry when he is chopped, claiming to quit cooking forever, and a judge goes to hug him and pep-talk him to keep at it. So inspiring.
2. Oh there are bull testacles in that basket…. Yum?
3. They should ban making risotto from this show. If a contestant makes risotto, they are automatically chopped. I don’t care how sure the contestant is; nobody can manage making risotto in 30 minutes.
4. Well isn’t everyone on this show just a drama mama.
5. Oh two contestants dated? That’s cute! Can we cook now and stop asking them about their past relationship?
6. He didn’t make a dessert. That was NOT dessert. How did he win?
7. How on earth are contestants going to make dessert with pizza and an ostrich egg?
8. CAN WE STOP WITH THE SOB STORIES AND COOK SOME FOOD?
9. He was only chopped to cause a scene. He so should have moved on.
10. When the judges are like “This is the hardest decision ever”. Pretty sure the judges said that last episode.
11. When the judges can’t decide and I’m like… HE DIDN’T EVEN USE A BASKET INGREDIENT WHY IS THIS NOT CLEAR.
12. Mascarpone cheese is NOT going to fix this dish for anyone. I don’t know why the contestants all use it.
13. There is not enough time to use the blast chiller. There is never enough time to use the blast chiller. Why is it even there?
14. If another contestant is using the ice cream machine, other contestants need a new plan. Don’t make ice cream over their ice cream.
15. If a contestant bleeds on anything… Chopped.
16. If a contestant forgets a basket ingredient… Chopped (unless someone else was bleeding).
17. Why would a contestant ever put something on a plate a judge can’t eat? Garnish is not a thing unless it’s edible.
18. Oh.. a contestant is raising money for a cancer society in honor of their deceased mother? The other guy wants to take his kid to Disney world so… tough call.
19. Someone ALWAYS grew up in shambles and somehow powered through to become a chef.
20. I hate to break it to the contestants, but in the grand scheme of things $10,000 will not change their life (after those taxes and all).
21. Why on earth would a contestant make something from the pantry a main ingredient? Highlight the basket ingredient! That’s what it’s for.
22. Why am I crying? This is too dramatic.
23. Generic names replace the world’s favorite name brands. I know “chocolate, cream filled sandwich cookie” is code for Oreo. Just say it.
24. When the judges yell “GET IT ON THE PLATE” and contestants haven’t even touched one of the ingredient. Face palm.
25. If a contestant is a vegetarian or has a food restriction, they are going to lose.
26. To follow that. ALWAYS TASTE THE FOOD BEFORE YOU SERVE IT.
27. When the judges can’t eat a contestant’s food because of contamination, and they still think they have a chance. CHOPPED.