1. First, you spot him or her in line getting pizza as you inhale your fifth cookie of the night (TDR cookies are the bomb, don’t deny it.) Your mouth drops open as his or her shiny, Harry Styles’ (pre-man bun) hair catches your eye. You must find out more about this glorious creature.
2. Your heart flutters a little bit, you get up, and you do your best #werkit walk over to that pizza line to get a better look at his or her face.
3. When you finally see his or her face, you realize it’s a gift from the Greek Gods and silently thank his parents for having such a beautiful son or daughter. #thankyouJesus
4.You casually get in line behind him or her and realize that not only does he or she have a wonderful face, but also a butt so great, Nicki Minaj would be jealous. #bootyhadmelike
5. As he or she walks away, you casually follow him or her to find out where they’re sitting, and then do a quick happy dance when you see that he/she’s sitting at the table across from you.
6. Instead of eating that extra slice of pizza you got on your adventure to check him out, you keep flailing back and forth in your seat to see if you can make eye contact. At this point, your friends are wondering why you’re wiggling like a small child on an airplane and you point out God’s gift to mankind to them.
7. Eventually, he or she catches you glancing and gives a small smile. You think to yourself, Yes! We’ve made contact, I repeat, we have made contact.
8. Next thing you know, you’ve imagined that you two are married with three kids and an adorable golden retriever named Sparky.
9. But then the unthinkable happens: your future Mr. or Mrs. opens his or her mouth, and gets up to leave. You’re singing “Baby Come Back” to yourself, but he or she just doesn’t turn around. And just like that, your future husband or wife walks right out of your life, with his or her wonderful hair and glorious backside.
10. You wallow as you finally dive into that extra slice of pizza. The wallowing only lasts seconds though, until you realize that his friend that stayed behind is just as attractive, if not more. Can we say, hello Mr. Gosling?
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