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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Albizu chapter.

“Stop setting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm” – Unknown

It is human nature to want to establish relationships that are meaningful, fulfilling and make you happy. But sometimes even the strongest, healthiest people can find themselves in a complicated and toxic relationship. At times it has to do with our cultures, we might feel that because its family or someone close, we have to endure them and accept them.  Humans are encouraged in different ways to objectify each other and to objectify their relationships. Thus, our partners are often seen as achievements or prizes rather than someone to share mutual emotional support.

Keep in mind that it is any kind of relationship that can turn toxic and dangerous. They have a lot of influence on what you do, how you feel about yourself and how you manage your other relationships. We all want to feel safe, loved, and happy in our relationships, because isn’t that the point? But sometimes red flags of a bad relationship aren’t glaringly obvious. Most of the time it is difficult to see the how the people we love can hurt us. Trust me I have been in my fair share of toxic relationship and I have had to learn how to step away. It has helped me to learn what I want, what I deserve and who really loves me. It hurts just like growing pains, constantly, slowly but it means you are growing. There are things that can help you see if you are in a toxic relationship/environment and I’m going to share some of them with you.

  1. You feel like you are always walking on eggshells.
  2. You feel uneasy or uncomfortable with that person.
  3. Talking is non – existent, you are always fighting.
  4. Life is a constant drama; the environment is also dramatic.
  5. That person wants you all to themselves.
  6. The person is a stonewall to talk to.
  7. Being with them is a power tug – of – war.
  8. The idea of leaving becomes more and more appealing
  9. You doubt yourself all the time.
  10. You don’t feel like you are enough.   

Don’t be afraid to step away from that dark place, you are enough and you always will. If you feel any of these red flags leave, trust me there are people that truly appreciate and love you.

- Clinical Psychology PhD, Carlos Albizu Student - Born in Mayagüez, Puerto Rico; currently living in San Juan, Puerto Rico - 26 years of age - I love to travel, love animals and enjoy being with my family & friends