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Sex + Relationships

Love & 4.0s : Being in a relationship in college

A lot of people wonder how being in a relationship while being in college works, simply because if there really are a lot of fish in the sea, college is where the sharks are at. College is a hunting ground for guys and girls the same, using social events, popular spots on campus, and even class to spot what they like and to lure it in. There is a presumption that guys are merely trying to run up the number of bodies that they have, while girls are simply trying to enjoy their youth and go with the flow. The promiscuity on a college campus creates a web where inevitably everyone could easily end up connected, and if you really think about it, that’s nasty as hell. So in the midst of all of this, there are some people who are bravely committed and end up in relationships. Anyone who chooses this could attest, it is not easy being in a relationship at all, but being on a college campus just makes it that much harder. However, that is not a reason to be discouraged. Plenty of very successful relationships start off as college sweethearts! Here’s a few things to keep in mind if you’re thinking of getting into a relationship while in school and some tips on how to keep your college relationship going strong.

Don’t rush it!

If you’re just starting college, take time to learn the atmosphere before you jump in a relationship. Make friends, join clubs, find yourself and assert your position. After this, you’ll see what you have time for, who is making time for you and can prioritize the things you have going on. If you’re talking to someone on campus, don’t rush into a relationship or pressure them, or yourself, to be in one. There’s nothing wrong with simply talking to someone, letting them walk you to class, eating together, studying together, etc. without the time and effort commitment required from a relationship. While talking, you set your own rules and limitations, no strings attached. Make sure that when you do make the decision to be in a relationship, it’s something that you are both absolutely positive you want and are willing to work for!

Be Flexible!

If you’re already in a relationship, give yourselves some time to adjust to campus life. If things change a little bit, don’t be quick to assume. Exchange schedules so you each know when you’re busy, communicate any plans you have and then schedule some time to be together. If your boyfriend wants to go out with his friends, don’t get mad, just go out with yours or stay in and do something productive. If it occurs often, ask to tag along some time. Go out together, go to school functions together. Introduce your friends to each other, while simultaneously respecting his space as well as your own. Don’t suffocate the person you’re with though. Being clingy just means you’re gonna be left hanging, ya dig?

S               P               A               C               E

If you both live on campus, it seems really convenient that the person you’re with is within walking distance from you. However, this could lead to one of the quickest relationship demises. We’ve all heard of the honeymoon phase, when relationships begin, everything smells like flowers; you always wanna be together, spend time together, talk, etc. But, after you’ve been together a while it’s inevitable for one of you (if not both) to realize that you need your space. Distance just makes the heart grow fonder. You shouldn’t spend every moment of everyday with your significant other. If both of you are being productive all day, when you meet up at night, you’ll miss each other, you’ll have a lot to talk about, and you’ll have a whole days worth of loving to give. If you’re constantly with the person, the experience may not be as pleasant. You can get annoyed, stop appreciating time together, and worst of all, get use to them always being there. I say this is the worse because there will be one point when he wants to do something that does not include you or vice versa and the part of you that is used to having them there, will be hurt.

Appreciate what you have!

Off personal experience, I can tell you that the only reason I have a boyfriend is because I found someone who is worth the effort and we have been able to shit on all the college relationship stereotypes, to put it bluntly. When you want someone, it comes easily. Find a guy that wants something similar to what you want, don’t try to change a guy who doesn’t want to change. Even Fab said, "Better off saving that change for the meter." Sometimes you have to go with the flow. We’re still young, still have plenty of time for love, so we should enjoy and appreciate every encounter as it comes, learn from it, and keep it pushing. There’s so many dope personalities, especially within a college campus. Focus more on trying to get to know the person you’re with and appreciating their presence rather than worrying about titles, commitment or what’s next.

 

 

 

 

 

Jaylene M.

Albany '20

I'm a Junior at the University at Albany majoring in Philosophy! I'm a travel enthusiast and love food and fashion!
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