“I want to get involved but…”
Ladies, how many times have you heard this after you have asked a guy, “What are we?” Way too many times to count, right? It’s okay if you have because we’ve all been there. I’ve been there as well. Many of the fellas you meet claim they aren’t “ready for a relationship” or “trying to focus on their schoolwork” or “I’m just trying to live my life, I’m too young to tie myself down” or some other excuse that you may have gotten. It’s just their way of avoiding commitment. Most guys aren’t ready to settle down and be committed to one girl because as the saying goes, “there are plenty of fish in the sea.”
The thing is while they are telling you this, in your head you ask yourself, “So, you’re trying to focus on your schoolwork but you have time to hang with your boys and you aren’t involved in any type of extracurricular at all? Oh okay.” Don’t ever become foolish. We all want to be loved by another so bad that we become foolish, all that common sense goes out of the window. Never let a guy play you and never play yourself.
It’s a waste of time if both of you are looking for completely different things. If you’re looking for a relationship and he’s just looking for someone to mess with, clearly, you need to cut that guy off. You might be reading this and asking yourself, “But what if we both genuinely like each other and we have those late conversations, and in those conversations we speak of the future together?” Remember that anyone can talk; it’s all about their actions. Is he willing to do this, that and the other for you? My advice to you is not to “build yourself a man,” and make this a learning experience for the both of you. Especially if both of you are new to this. If he wanted a relationship y’all would be together. Am I right or am I wrong? Of course I am right. Men make it clear when they are not willing to invest their time to you.
In the beginning, it’s okay to ask, “What are you looking for?” or “Where do you expect us to go?” You’re entitled to ask these questions and hopefully get truthful answers from the guy you’re dealing with. A lesson for the ladies: Do NOT settle for anything less than what you deserve. If you are looking for a relationship and the guy you are interested in isn’t, don’t compromise. Don’t settle for half of him when you really want all of him. A man will always fight for what he wants. Don’t dwell on a situation, do you boo. You’re beautiful; you’re a Queen and should be treated as such.