Often, we as people surround ourselves with others that think similarly to us. Whether it’s about classes or pop culture or politics, people normally gravitate and create a connection to others like them. Using myself as an example, I normally surround myself with people that choose to be feminists and can quote vines from memory. But just because I choose to have feminist friends doesn’t mean that all my friends identify as a woman. Many of my best friends are men and are some of the most active men I’ve met when it comes to feminism.
Yet, not all people are like this. Some don’t know how to join the intersectional feminist movement and some reject it entirely. So to the men out there who are actually willing to listen, here’s a few ways on how to be a good male feminist ally:
- Don’t be invasive in spaces that are for others. What I mean by this is that you shouldn’t come into a feminist conversation and expect it to be all about men. Your opinion is your opinion, but when you give a decisive opinion with statements like “you should do this…” or “guys can be…too,” you’re derailing or controlling the conversation. This isn’t just for men, rather it’s for people who have more privilege, but men are often the ones that hold the highest positions when it comes to privilege because they’ve been at the top for so long. So listen, learn, ask respectful questions, and know that even if it doesn’t affect you personally, it’s still monumentally important to the movement.
- “Men ain’t shit” doesn’t apply to you if you know it doesn’t apply to you. There’s no need for “not all men…” because we know that not all men do this or that, but by saying that, you are making yourself into thatguy. Activism can sting because of the privilege you’re used to, but by accepting your privilege and using it for educating other privileged men, you can make an impact. And that brings me to my final point:
- Speak up. I know Chad from economics might be a nice dude, but his constant unchecked misogyny isn’t cute. You know it’s wrong, so say something about it. If I had a dollar for every time I got into an argument about social issues with another guy whilst being around other “nice guys” who did nothing, I would have enough money to pay for my tuition. If you truly want to be apart of the movement and really believe in intersectional feminist ideas, you are probably going to have to sacrifice your “masculine image.” And if your friends don’t think that’s cool, then you might need to get new friends.
These are only three tips amongst many. But the bottom line is that a unification can only happen if people listen and learn from each other and their mistakes. The intersectional feminist movement is constantly growing and changing. People can too, as long as you’re willing to put in the work to do so.