It’s all fun and games to have large breast until you have to go lie down because you’ve been standing too long at a party and now your back hurts. I have never understood the allure of large breast over small ones; maybe this is because mine constantly hurt my back and cause me frustration in the fitting room. Before we get too far in, I am not here to say that large breast is better than small ones or vice versa. There is no ideal size or shape. All that matters is that you feel comfortable and free to be who you are in your own skin.
I was that lucky preteen who got ‘blessed’ young in life. From 6th grade onward my breast grew and grew. For a while, it was fun to have large breast. I filled out dressed, could rock a swimsuit, and it was fun to have my friend ask if I could share some. But as life goes on, as it does I started to notice that one of my breasts was beating the other in the growth race. It got to the point where I couldn’t even buy bras in a regular store. I would have to to a special bra shop, and they would have to go in the back and pull out the grandmother bra. Yep, no cute bras for me just $150 granny bras.
I found ways to work around this problem. I would never wear form-fitting outfits or low cut outfits. Scarfs and flowing dresses where my go to. But there came on a day in a dressing room when I was putting on a petite size 4 dress, now I don’t know who decided that short people don’t have breast, but when I tried to zip up the dress my 5’2’’ tall 30 DDD frame made the zipper stop right at the bottom of ribs. Maybe I was tired from a long day of shopping. Maybe it was the years of struggling to find clothing that both fit and flattered me, but I threw the dress on the ground and stormed out the store crying. It was then, during an internet search, that I discovered breast reduction. I had heard of breast implants, but I had never heard of a breast reduction. I read a list of benefits to getting one. I realized just how limiting my breast were in my life. I couldn’t run without basically taping my breast down. Often times in yoga, they make it hard to breathe. I also discovered this was the reason why my back would hurt if I stood for long a long period of time.
So one year later, here I am less than two weeks out from my surgery. I a tone of did my research and meet with different doctors till I found one that I felt comfortable with. I asked him if I was too young for the surgery. He explained that as long as my breast were done growing getting them done sooner rather than later would just mean I would get to enjoy my new breast longer. A wave a happiness, that I wasn’t expecting, come over me when I scheduled my surgery date. I hadn’t realized till that moment how much of a burden my breast had been on me emotionally and physically.
As the day draws closer I get both more excited and more nervous. This is a serious procedure and not something to be taken lightly, but it is something I need to feel comfortable. To quote Hailee Seinfeld:
You know some days you feel so good in your own skin
But it’s okay if you wanna change the body that you came in
‘Cause you look greatest when you feel like a damn queen!
I will be posting and streaming my pre and post surgery on my Instagram @ann_marie_lavander. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions! https://www.instagram.com/ann_marie_lavander/?hl=en
Also, Part Two will be released in January of 2019!!!!!!