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You clicked on this article for a reason. Somewhere, whether they are from the University of Alabama, your hometown or Tinder, there is a person who does not fully appreciate the wonderful things you have to offer, and now you want to be over them. This feeling is extremely difficult to explain when your heart and mind are fixated on someone, but you have to realize that they might not be the best for you. Whether it is the wrong timing, person or place, it can feel like you're going through a mental obstacle course trying to get rid of those lingering butterfly feelings.

I have experienced this time and time again. I’ve always been down on myself when I have come to the horrible realization that no one ever wants to come to terms with: 

He’s just not that into me.   

For every girl, this realization comes from different signs. Maybe they never initiate talking to you first. Maybe they straight up told you they do not feel the same way (ouch!). Initially, many young women go straight to thinking, “What is wrong with me? Why wasn’t I good enough for him? How could I be better for him to like me?”, and I am here to tell you that this way of thinking is harmful. Stop holding them on a higher pedestal than you hold yourself and operating under the assumption that there is something wrong with you, because I can assure you that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

 Anyone that does not recognize your worth is simply not worth your time. 

That is a tough pill to swallow, but it could not be further from the truth. Based on some compelling research (aka asking all my straight male friends), guys aren’t sitting around putting themselves down, so ladies, why are we? Why has it become automatic to assume that there is something wrong with US and that we must fix ourselves to fit whatever they claim their “type” is. I’ve watched some of my closest friends dye their hair a different color and gain or lose weight simply to impress someone else. If you want to glow up for yourself, that is perfectly fine! Everyone makes changes to find satisfaction in how they look, but…

You should never change yourself for another person. Ever. 

You deserve to live life by your own rules. Being a young woman in college can be a conflicting feeling because you’re trying to figure out who you are deep down. During this beautiful time of self-discovery, it is vital to embrace who you are and create the life that you want to live during adulthood! You never need to alter anything about yourself to please someone else. 

But, let me take you to where my mind has been living for a while. What if it is not only the fact that he isn’t into you, but he is into someone else? Automatically, my mind darts to what she looks like. My mind fills with the thoughts of:

She’s prettier than me. She's smaller than me. She is probably funnier than I am, and I am sure her taste in music is better than mine. Something about her looks more fun and mysterious, while I can be more of an open book. He probably likes the chase. Am I not worth chasing too?

Looks do not matter, and size does not matter. There is someone out there that will absolutely adore your laugh, your jokes, your music, your taste in movies, your hobbies, and more. Comparing yourself to other people and questioning whether or not you are good enough will only drive you towards a path of not appreciating yourself the way you deserve to be treated, because at the end of the day:

There is someone in this world who could watch a million sunsets and would rather watch you instead.

It definitely takes a lot of time to realize this and requires even more work to automatically think this rather than the negative, however, it is worth the work and effort. You deserve to invest time, love and care into yourself. You deserve happiness from others and most importantly, yourself. As you try to get over someone, allow yourself to feel those emotions that you may encounter (you’re still human!), but keep in mind that this form of rejection does not define you, your looks or your soul. If no one else has told you today:

You are so beautiful inside and out. You are an honor to be loved by and worth being loved.


Mikaila is a content writer and intern at HerCampus. She is a sophomore at the University of Alabama, studying Nursing with a minor in Psychology. In her free time, she can be found enjoying an iced caramel macchiato at the Ferguson Student Center, going for jogs across campus, or spending time with her sorority sisters. She is incredibly passionate about pediatric health, studying race relations in America, and Damon Salvatore from the Vampire Diaries.
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