For the past two years, I’ve had someone to lean on, someone to hold me while I cried, someone to dance in the kitchen with, and someone to be my very best friend. After moving 7 hours away to college, this connection was quickly broken when my relationship of two years ended. It literally felt like the end of the world, and if you’re going through the same thing right now, you know exactly what I mean.
My heart literally felt like it had shattered into a million pieces, and I felt like I had lost my best friend- because I did. Breakups are never easy, but what is easy is forgetting to take care of yourself after one. Here’s some ways to alleviate at least a little bit of your pain, and if nothing else, let you know that you’re not alone in this process.
My first piece of advice would be to allow yourself to feel your feelings. I remember right after I broke up with my boyfriend, I felt pressure to be “fine” for everyone else. Take it from me, this will not last, and you will have a breaking point, so it is better to just allow yourself to FEEL. Cry, scream, listen to your sad playlist, watch The Notebook, do what you have to do to feel your emotions. Feeling them is the first step to processing and working through them. Allow yourself to feel sad, reminisce on the good memories you two had together, and know that you will be okay, and this is just a chapter in your story.
I also recommend doing things that force you to focus on yourself. It’s easy when you feel sad and distracted by a breakup to neglect taking care of yourself, but it is SO important to practice self-care during this time. One thing I did was buy new skin care and make it a point in my bedtime routine to actually use it. Not only did I end up with nicer skin, I was also taking the time to take care and check in with myself.
Fill your time! You’re so used to spending a lot of your time with your significant other, so naturally you will feel lonely and like you have so much free time on your hands. This can be scary but see it as an opportunity to do things that you enjoy and bring you happiness. Schedule dates with friends you haven’t seen in a while, pick up a new hobby you’ve always wanted to try, or simply have a day to yourself doing all of your favorite things. It’s the small things that will bring you happiness during this time.
Do not rush into finding someone new. This is not productive to your healing, and you will likely hurt someone else in the process. It’s okay to miss the partner figure in your life, but know that it’s okay to be single for a while. Plus, the best things in life come when you least expect them. Use this time to work on yourself and to heal all the emotions you are feeling right now.
Although it may not feel like it now, you will be okay and you will make it through this. What’s meant to be will be, and while it is difficult to wait and see what is truly meant to be, it will be oh so worth it.