The thought of graduating in 4 weeks is as exciting as it is terrifying. As a law school bound 22-year-old, I feel prepared and clueless simultaneously. However, I know that without the advice and guidance of those older than me there’s no way I would’ve made it this far. If you’re like me, you didn’t have a crew of women immediately ready to acclimate and guide you. But I did have several very influential women (some of which were my IRL friends, others were women graciously posting online) to give me advice. To pay it forward, here’s the advice I was given (along with tips I learned along the way) to make the most of wherever you are in your college experience.
To the Incoming Freshman
its okay to be alone without being lonely
There were so many times freshman year that I found myself alone. I hadn’t developed my friend group yet, I was an out-of-state student too far from home to make the trip often, and school was tough. I thought that being alone meant that I was destined to miss out and never have friends. I wished that I’d known that being alone doesn’t mean you’re destined to be lonely. In fact, in that first formative semester, being alone is the best way to get a grasp on your new reality on your own terms. I found that the more free time I allotted myself to be alone, the more productive I became at pushing myself to finish my work and go out to make friends. Being alone was so incredibly healthy and actually helped me find awesome friends who not only respected that but also found personal time for themselves.
Call. Home.
It seems embarrassing to constantly phone your mom, your home best friend, or your guardian. But calling home was not only therapeutic, it reminded me that while the distance was a tough hurdle, it wasn’t impossible. By calling often I was able to rely on it less and less; instead of it becoming a crutch, it established a comfortable routine. I also know that my mom was very thankful for my decision!
go after the unknown
People might tell you to play it safe as a freshman; I would argue the exact opposite. Take classes that you wouldn’t normally take, sign up for interesting clubs and organizations, change your major or minor if you’re not enjoying it. Now is the time to make changes because freshman year offers the least consequences and the most flexibility. Challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone – you’ll be happier in the long run for doing so!
say yes often
I always found that the most opportunities came to me when I just said yes. If someone asks you to tag along for dinner, say yes. If someone asks if you’re interested in doing research with them, say yes. If someone asks you to be their partner for a class assignment, say yes! The worst that could happen is it’s not your thing and you don’t do it again. But you’ll never know if you don’t try. It’s so easy to say no to going out, meeting people and trying new things. It’s hard to say yes and do something you wouldn’t normally do. Yet in doing so, you often end up with the biggest rewards.
to the rising sophomores
put school first…
Sophomore year is a really important year for your schoolwork. Classes become harder, you get more involved with your major, you might be living off campus and jobs or internships take up your previous study time. Putting school first is a decision you will not regret. The relief of knowing your homework is done, you’re ready for the exam or you are getting an A in the class makes everything else about the year so much better. Don’t be afraid to delegate more than enough time to school in order to end up at the top of your class! Not only will future bosses or internship coordinators be eyeing this year as pivotal, but it could alter the trajectory of your college experience. Make sure that school is a top (if not the top) priority.
…but make time for fun
Now that school is covered and you’re excelling in class, make time to have fun!! Sophomore year was when I was most in my groove—I had my organizational involvement figured out, nailed down my schedule, and finally had free time and friends for fun. Take advantage of that. Junior year can be rough, so making the most of your sophomore year is so important. There were so many times I didn’t go out or didn’t hang with my friends because I thought I was too busy or too behind on school. Spoiler alert: I would only get busier and more behind. Sophomore year is the perfect time to have fun while also doing well in school. It makes for the perfect year. Set aside time as designated fun time; this can curb early burn-out and it literally schedules in time for you to do what you love!
invest in your space
Whether you’re moving off campus, staying in your dorm, living in a sorority house or becoming an RA, it is so important to invest in your space. I made the mistake of hastily putting together my apartment and as a result I hated coming home. It didn’t feel like the relaxing space I needed—it felt like an unfinished, stressful project. Take the time to really decorate and create a space that makes coming home feel relaxing and fun. Splurge on items like nice bedding, good bathroom products, kitchen utensils and decorations to make it feel like luxury. When you first move in, set aside solid chunks of time to perfect and finish the space; throughout the year, upkeep your space to keep it clean and almost new. After a long day of school and work you will be so thankful; because college only tends to get busier and more stressful, investing in your space early is a must.
to the rising juniors
don’t compare yourself
Junior year is when people start getting accolades, moving up exec ladders, and scoring big internships. Sometimes it can feel like what you’re doing is small or not as significant as others. It’s really difficult, but avoid comparing yourself to others. Everyone is doing very different things and is at very different places; comparing yourself only leads to frustration, unnecessary conflicts, and self-sabotage. Instead, channel that energy into going after what you think is important. In the grand scheme of things, what other people are doing does not matter. What does matter is prioritizing your mental health! And trust me, people are likely having to stop themselves from comparing to you. If you’re feeling this way with a close friend, have a one-on-one conversation; you’ll likely discover that they’ve been going through it too.
organize
Junior year gets BUSY. Between school and everything else it is so easy to lose track of time, meetings, appointments and commitments. Invest in an online calendar (I prefer Outlook, but Google calendar, Calendly, and other software options are just as good) as well as a physical planner to write down all important due dates and deadlines. Having two options for planning helps you be where you need to be and stay on top of everything. In your organizing, also allot times for work outs, hang outs and studying—there’s no such thing as being over-organized! I find that when I put those times physically in my schedule, I actually do them; in my brain, it’s one more thing to check off the list!
say no
But Anna, didn’t you just tell the freshman to say yes?! Well, if you’ve taken my advice, you’ve been saying yes for two years now. As a junior, it’s time to start saying no. If people ask if you’re free to have a meeting and you truly aren’t, say no. If someone asks you to pick up their slack and you don’t have the energy, say no. If someone tells you you’re working too hard or not hard enough, say NO! I think as college women we’ve adopted a mindset that if we can’t achieve it all we’re not truly achieving anything—that’s just false. Saying no is healthy, acceptable and necessary. Learn it now—your future career self will be thanking you.
to the rising seniors
make a bucket list
My senior year I made a bucket list to visit every bar in my college town before I graduated. I made another to go inside every single building on my campus. Making bucket lists helps you to achieve the things you left out, make memories, and come up with quirky things to do throughout the year. Whether the list is easily completable or not, come up with at least one list of things you want to do before you graduate.
become a mentor
If you’ve made it this far you likely didn’t do it alone—you had mentors, be them students, friends, or professors, along the way. Become a mentor to someone that you see yourself in. Take them under your wing, give them some of the aforementioned tips, and help them find their success. This is such a great way to not only pay it forward but actually impact someone’s life in a positive way. Go out of your way to help others and give back in whatever organizations, groups, jobs or classes you prioritize.
Be present
As a senior, it sometimes seems like a mad dash to get out of school and into a career. But this time in your life is full of “lasts.” For many, it’s the last time you’ll ever take a class, the last time you’ll live with your best friends, the last time you’ll have certain freedoms and opportunities and choices. To wish for graduation and life after leaving is fine, but it is so much more fun to be present. Cherish literally every part of the day. Make your friends a priority. Thank your teachers and advisors. This goes back to what you learned as a freshman—say yes often to outings, to parties, to send-off celebrations. Trust me, graduation will come sooner rather than later; you don’t want to miss all the fun and exciting times that you still have as a student.
These tips are definitely not exhaustive, but they can form a great foundation for anyone who needs a little advice. Take them and build on them, share them, and make them your own; at the end of the day, you chart your own path to success and you are your own best advice-giver.