By: Amira Daugherty
The MSA of Agnes Scott is collaborating with Her Campus Agnes Scott this week in celebration of an extension of Muslim Women’s Day. On the last day of our collaboration, read this beautiful piece that was originally performed as spoken word by Amira Daughtery!
(Photo courtesy of Agnes Scott’s Muslim Student Association. From left.: Amira, Vice President; Zarine, Secretary; Firdous, Media Coordinator; Rida, Parliamentarian; Vanessa, Treasurer; Zaina, President)
O-six hundred hours
I Rise
Left, left, left, right left
I march to the bathroom to prepare for prayer
first, wash hands,
then mouth
nose
face
elbows
hair
feet
in that order
right, left, right, left
in that order
scarf on, short side right, long side left,
pinwheel up
straight pin out
In one sharp motion
My head is clad in fabric
Extension of soul
Armor
Body dripping in loose material
My islamophobe- proof vest
Covered are all parts but face and hands
This is how I
Enter my days
This
Is how I Eagerly entered my 2nd grade classroom
On the first day I donned the full hijab
I stepped in
Expecting rings of praise and shared excitement
But instead
So Are you bald under there?
What happened to your hair
Does your daddy make you wear that?
Are you gonna blow my house up?
My shoulders sag
Murmurs of disapproval swirl around my head
Push through the fabric
And into my ear
Swim upstream through the canal
And yank at my pride with such vigor
That it hangs as loosely as my garments
I couldn’t reconcile this reaction in my mind
I thought of the strong sisters I’d watched march into the masjid
I Asked my mother
Why they hated me
She grabbed me and said
because you are a warrior of faith
They are not ready for your fire
The next dawn
As I watched her prepare for her day as I had routinely
I noticed different
Solemnity
Humbleness
A stoney disposition
As she took each corner of fabric like an oath and wrapped it to frame her face signing declaration
Her eyes
Held in them the calm and determined light
Only found in those of soldiers
Marching into the battlefield that is Corporate America
Her hijab acting as a sort of
Anti-camouflage
That’s when I realized
That being Muslimah, being hijabi
Meant I was to stick out like a sore thumb
Jabbing at the weak in the room with my very presence
Unsettled because I was not something they understood
Bitter that they had not the courage to be different
Only reassuring themselves by affirming their dominance
Unsatisfied until they can take my scarf
And hang me with it
Put me in my place
But as I grew older
I wrapped myself in the mantra
alkhawf la shay’ ‘iilaa allah (al cal fa la shay in il Allah)
I fear none but God
I stand in front of the mirror
Al cal fa la shay in il Allah
I say as I grip the long side of the fabric to wrap around my head
Al cal fa la shay in il Allah
Once more as I take my sword, my mighty straight pin and stick it through the fabric
Securing my armor
And as I look at my reflection
I see that light in my eyes
I have finally become
Ju dee ann- Yass ta haku
A worthy Soldier