This semester has been pretty hectic for me. There has not been enough time in each week to honestly take care of myself and engage in hobbies that I know to love. Being in college really does mitigate the urge to truly look after yourself. As the semester is coming to a close, I have realized that I have neglected one of the hobbies that I love most to do… reading. The most reading that I account for are the textbooks for my classes, and even then I tend to skim those. It is not like I did not try and put in effort into doing more personal reading, every time I try to I just procrastinate and tell myself I will do it when I have a break from school.
I truly hate to say it, but this year has made me fall out of love with reading, and I’m not sure how I can spark that connection back. Recently, I told myself that if I buy new books then that will encourage me to get somewhat excited about reading, despite the fact that I have a ton of books on my bookshelf waiting to be read. Unfortunately, it still has not been enough to even get me to crack open a book and read one page. My poor Sally Rooney book Beautiful World, Where Are You still remains back in the depth of my closet. Besides buying new books, I tried to schedule a time during fall break to read.
Before fall break I told myself that I will finally set time for myself and start reading. But, when fall break actually came around, I had a math test scheduled for the following week and I knew that I had to study, so I used that as an excuse to neglect the book and do school work. I still don’t understand how avoidant I continue to be when it comes to reading, even though it is not an obligation rather a hobby!
So now reading and I are stuck in our separation phase, and I am not sure how to get out of it. I truly miss the feeling of being enraptured with a book and escaping in the world of characters and settings that I desired to be a part of, I need to go back to that. I am hoping that I can get out of this phase, but I honestly do not think I can get out of this phase till the summertime, and even then, more of my free time could be taken up.
To be fair, there is no exact rush to go back and read for fun again, but it has been one of my favorite hobbies that I developed through my mom and my sister, and I just feel as though that I am losing a part of myself as I get older and responsibilities accumulate. However, I will not give up just yet! Time and patience seem to be the thing that will get me and reading back together.