‘Tis the back to school season and we’re all in the process of getting back to the grind and adjusting to our new schedule. However, coming into this school year is different than the years before, and that may be because I’m a senior now, so things are starting to hit me. This summer was definitely a learning experience for me, so many things happened all at once and in the midst of it all, I was never able to check in with myself. Below are three things I’ve learned this summer that I hope to continue reflecting on and if they resonate with you, then hopefully you can understand and take it upon yourself to do some self-reflection as you tackle on the new school year!
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Emotional labor is hard.
I’ve always gone above and beyond for my friendships, my family, and many other people/factors in my life. However, I’ve noticed that I can only do so much with what others allow me to do. For example, I tried to make someone feel better after noticing their mood was off; however, when I would ask general questions, they would reply back to me with short-ended responses. I could have kept trying to ask in other ways, but I noticed that it was doing more damage on me trying to figure out what was wrong and instead I could save the energy by moving on and letting them come to me about it. I learned that if a person isn’t gonna tell me whatever it may be that they’re going through, then I’m not gonna go out of my way to find out that information. This may seem harsh but it’s the best way to avoid any further damage on both parties.
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You Control Your Future
Of course, there are many factors that can affect your future and how you push through hurdles. Though, the most important thing I’ve learned is to take the matter into my own hands. Since this was my last real summer, I was in the mental state of how everything moving forward pertained to my future and what things were gonna be like a year from now. Unfortunately, I got hit with a huge obstacle in the way, and I dwelled/moped around about it for several days until I decided that I couldn’t let it stop me from achieving the goal and place I want to be in exactly a year from now. So to anyone reading this right now, the Butterfly Effect is real and it’s occurring right now. Things may not go the way you planned. Trust me, I didn’t expect this huge bump in the road., But it will pass, and you’ll get there (especially my fellow seniors, we’re all in this together #cueHighSchoolMusical).
(Image via giphy)
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Self-care is how you choose to define it.
At Agnes, we hear about self-care and self-love all the time. Literally, all the time. However, self-care can be practiced in multiple ways, I always thought of it to be in the “treat yourself, feel relaxed” kind of way but the truth is, it’s whatever you want it to be. This summer I dealt with a lot of familial trauma and although I wanted to make sure everyone else was okay, I needed a way to check in with myself in a manner that wasn’t avoiding the overall issue at hand. I tend to be a workaholic or someone who just needs to be productive at times, but I knew I couldn’t let that happen with the issues I was facing because I wouldn’t be able to put my best work forward. I tried just binge-watching some shows on Netflix but then that would make me feel disgusted for not being productive, therefore I would go study or prep for applications, grad exams, etc. That may seem insane for others, but for me, it worked.
All of these lessons may seem cliche and like things, I should have known, but I actually learned about these theories and applied them to my daily life. The journey of self-reflection never stops and this summer, the lessons I’ve learned were definitely ones that I plan to implement in my life. Thank you for listening to my TedTalk.