An Open Letter to My Exes

    Hi friends! As most of you know, Ariana Grande has sort of broken the internet with all the buzz surrounding her song “Thank u, next”. If you don’t know, this song explains Grande’s experiences with past relationships and how she overcame drama to become the person she is today. I think the reason this song resonated with so many people is that Grande was being open and honest that no, not all relationships are what you believe and yes, it’s never too late to call it quits if things are just not working out. For me, this song really had me thinking what exactly I’ve learned from my past relationships. I’ve gone through my fair share of drama and disappointments, but also memories I wouldn't trade for the world. Today, I am letting my guard down and writing this letter to two memorable exes of mine for all of you. They might read this, but that’s not the important takeaway here. I feel like it’s important to know you ’re not the only one who goes through rough periods in your life, and sometimes those periods are tangled up in relationships. These letters are not only a bit of therapy for me but an extended conversation from me to you. I hope that in showing my vulnerability, you can find your strength with me.

To My First Everything:

    I never thought things would end up the way they did, but I guess nobody really knows where the relationship will go until it ends. We were just kids, too young to understand true love, but old enough to feel it. You taught me what it’s like to be one part in a duo, opened my eyes to another world outside my own, and how to care for someone in such a way that I have never experienced before. The excitement and butterflies I received when you held my hand, and the feeling in my heart I felt when you comforted me. These are the things I like to remember. The “first love” memories of the uncertainty but passion and excitement of what is to come. You helped me discover parts of me I didn’t even know existed and for that,I thank you. Unfortunately, whenever there's good, the bad sneaks along behind the shadows. We know how it all went, but we recovered stronger than how we began. Our relationship taught me how badly a heartache can affect you. The dreaded first heartbreak took me down hard. As you know, I am a person of passion. When I fall, I fall hard. Mistakes were made yes, big ones too. So many minutes, hours, and years have passed since then. It wasn’t until recently that I learned to forgive. I was able to move on with my life and find the inner strength I never knew I had. I’m not sensitive to the idea of us anymore, in fact, I am proud of the person I became because of it. I love that you taught me how something beautiful can rise from the darkness. I wish the last conversation could’ve been different, but there's no reason to long for something you can’t change. I hope you continue to discover yourself in the way I have and find happiness in your success.

To The One I Fought For

    You know what I’m going to say. Did we have good memories? Absolutely. I treasure the time you spent with me to teach me your perspective on life. I treasure the kayak chaos on the water, late night bike rides, and deep conversations on the sand. At first, you honestly helped me explore my free spirit. You helped me understand the tranquility with the beauty of the world that surrounds us, and the happiness I felt when your attention was just on me. Your attention wasn’t always on me though, and I knew that. You became toxic for me, and we became toxic for each other. Truth is, I knew she still intrigued you. Whether it was due to the absence of closure in your past relationship, or just her as a person, you couldn’t give me the truth. It’s possible you don’t even know the reason you did what you did. I’m here to tell you that uncertainty is ok, but dishonesty is not. You lied to me over and over again, and that’s what hurts the most. She wasn’t the only one, there were a couple more. Just conversations, probably. I guess I’ll never know the answer to that, and that’s ok. The last straw was prior to the trip, the last bit of betrayal I could take. I loved you. I gave you my everything and more. It felt like a knife through my heart. The tears ran out after weeks of constant streams. We learned how to hurt each other, and we did it over and over again. I was scared to leave, and the reason was my own insecurities. I felt we were too far involved to let go of everything. Over time, I learned to become comfortable with the idea of a life without you always in it. An extremely heavy weight was lifted from my chest. I learned to love myself again because I had given you everything and neglected myself. I fought for you, and I fought for your affection. I should’ve been fighting for myself. I’m not mad at you anymore, because everyone has a reason for the things they do. You and I went along this crazy learning experience with ups and downs. I felt like we came into each other's lives for a reason. I taught you about compassion and creativity, and you taught me adaptability and self-worth. I don’t regret us nor do I hold you accountable for the fate of our relationship. I still hold a place in my heart for you, just not in the same way I used to. Thank you for all the experiences, happy moments, and loving me. I hope you’ve grown along with me, and wish you nothing but success in your future. My advice for you... Learn to love yourself because you are worthy of love.

Thanks for everything.