I never thought I would be writing this letter to you. They say writing your feelings out will help you resolve them. Frankly, the amount of emotional suffering I went through during my years of school was enough to make me bitter, however, I know I cannot let that happen. I struggle every day to stay happy and prevent the insecurities getting to me. I am writing this letter not for you, but for me and others who were victims of bullying.
I remember spending hours locked into my room crying in secret to not worry anyone. I would think to myself, “This will pass, it’s just a phase some kids go through. They probably don’t even mean anything they’re saying.”
Bullying is killing our kids. Being different is killing our kids and the kids who are bullying are dying inside. We have to save our kids whether they are bullied or they are bullying. They are all in pain. ~Cat Cora
Wrong face, wrong skin color, wrong personality. I get it, I wasn’t the prettiest, I was a different race than you and I wasn’t what was considered “cool.”
No matter what I did, the world was telling me I didn’t belong and I will always be an outsider.
I remember when other classmates refused to sit, or talk to me, deeming me too ugly, not good enough and unworthy of even being looked at like a person. I was an easy target, a girl who was too afraid speak up.
I was drowning in depression and crippling anxiety as I withdrew from the world, convinced everyone will always think I am unworthy.
Your words became an echo in my mind never to leave. I couldn’t quite figure out how to switch it off.
“I felt vulnerable and very much between friends. I remember walking down the hallway and thinking I had no way of knowing what was coming, literally. This wasn’t because I had some horrific bullying story, but because of a steady drip of negativity.” ~Rebecca Stead
Being cut off from the world, forced to look inside, I slowly put together the broken pieces of myself, pulling everything out of the sea of darkness. Looking everywhere, behind every door, under every rock for the parts of me that hasn’t felt the sun for quite some time.
Now I know, you were covered in anger all around battling your own battles, and you solely displaced them onto me. It was simply just a reflection of you. Did you finally get that sense of power you wanted to feel when you put me through so much pain? For what you did was hurtful but made me stronger so, thank you. Instead of facing myself with fear, I grew in a way where I looked passed my pain and became aware of yours.
“Self-love has very little to do with how you feel about your outer self. It’s about accepting all of yourself.” ~Tyra Banks
The pain of your words crept up into my head, affecting my heart, but I refused to let it take over my soul. I do not hate you. I love people for who they are and understand there will be those who are different from you. I will not allow for your words to let me change the way I see the world. I may not be ready to forgive you yet, but I just want to say I understand. I hope you’re in a world where you are able to see making mean jokes at the expense of others are not worthwhile, but instead, you have moments of joy.
I know you aren’t the first or the last bully, but you will not affect me the way you did. I’ve grown and become stronger.
‘Bullying is never fun, it’s a cruel and terrible thing to do to someone. If you are being bullied, it is not your fault. No one deserves to be bullied, ever.” ~Raini Rodriguez
To anyone that has either been bullied or currently being bullied, I hope this letter to the bully help you. The point of this letter is to give a voice to those who feel powerless at both the hands and words and to let them know they will not be left unheard. Your voice matter. Your actions matter. YOU matter. I hope that you feel you are fueled by love instead of the hate. The person or the situation putting you through this is not your weak point, instead is your strength. You are strong for coping with something like this. My advice is to reach out and ask for help no matter how small the situation is. If it is affecting you in a negative way or a way that isn’t your norm, you can ask for help from counselors at your school, public safety, and even a friend. It doesn’t matter who you contact about the situation, as long you let someone know and is not bottling up your emotions. Facing a bully is something NO ONE should have to endure alone. Please, ask someone for help because the worst scenario is dealing with this alone. When I was bullied, I made a mistake by not trusting those around me which made me reach one of the lowest points in my life. You should not be alone and please try to remember, you are not alone.