The dreaded words I read when I looked at my requirements for my major were “four semesters of a language required.” My previous language experience was not the greatest, and I honestly didn’t really know what I wanted to do. I took Italian for 3 years in middle and high school, but no part of me wanted to take that language again. I took sign language for 2 years in high school and I was really good at it, but knew I could’ve placed into a higher level if I was allowed to take a placement test. I thought about starting a new language, like Spanish, but I didn’t want to take all four semesters of it. So, I decided to take the Italian placement test to see if I could place into something higher level than Level 1. Turns out I did- I was placed into Level 2.
I started with Level 2 in the fall semester of my sophomore year, followed by Level 3 that spring, and now I am currently enrolled in Level 4. I am so happy to finally be in my last semester of my language, but I would be lying if I told you it hasn’t been met with some struggles.
I’m normally a good student with A’s in my classes and grades in the high 80’s and 90’s. I have never really been in a situation where I struggled much or received lower grades because of that. In high school, I was never the greatest with foreign languages, but I was able to figure it out and get good grades. However, college is harder and that meant that my language class was going to be harder too. At first I was okay, but as the levels increased it became a lot harder.
I found myself struggling to understand and make sense of the language. Reading and speaking were particular hardships for me, and I found myself having a hard time comprehending it. Tests were particularly difficult for me because I already have testing anxiety, so when I didn’t really understand the language, I would look at my tests, blank, and almost cry.
I never struggled this much with school, and it became frustrating trying to make sense of it all while trying to do well and keep my grades up. Homework and extra credit were my grade boosters, which helped to balance out my test grades.
For the first time in my life, I got 70’s on tests and even one grade in the 60’s. This was so unlike me, but no matter what I did I just couldn’t get it. I tried making appointments during my professor’s office hours, and looked into different studying techniques, but nothing seemed to work. Sadly, they didn’t offer on-campus tutoring for the Italian level I was in either.
It sucked, and I’m very excited for it to be over and to never have to take a language again, but there was something good that came out of all of this. I realized that I don’t always need to be perfect or achieve super high grades in school. I am not defined by how I perform in this one class or this one subject, and I am so much more than my grades. I am a whole person who faces struggles and pushes through them, but the end result doesn’t matter because I tried and got through it. No matter what that grade says, I know I am more than it and I am not defined by my grades or my struggles for that matter.