Going into college there is a lot of expectation to know what you want to do with your life. This pressure starts as soon as you start applying to colleges, as they make you list a major on your application. You can list undecided but either way, whether you list a major or not, you are still expected to have an answer to the question, “So what do you want to do in life?”
I am a second-semester freshman. According to my school, I am an anthropology major. I am taking exactly zero anthropology courses this semester. I came into college wanting to pursue forensic anthropology – when I tell people this it is usually followed up with “What the hell is that?” Yeah, it’s a weird field and yeah, I watched way too many episodes of Bones. Not the point. The point is that I came in really thinking that is what I wanted to do.
And now? Now I am all over the place. I am exploring communications and psychology and thinking of a hundred different careers that are very much not in the field of anthropology.
I am the kind of person who likes to be very sure of everything. I really don’t enjoy this whole “figuring it out” and “going with the flow” thing. I’ve stressed and cried about it way too many times to my therapist, and my parents, and my advisor, and my friends – sorry everyone.
So if you’re in college right now, or even high school, and you’re losing your mind because it feels like everyone except you has a major or career in mind and just… don’t: Relax. Take a breath. You have plenty of time to figure it out. A lot of things in life require you to just take your time and see what happens. If you’re a control freak like me and that idea makes your skin crawl, all I can say is I understand. Just keep reminding yourself that figuring yourself out is such a slow and messy process. Every time you think you have yourself figured out, something happens and your whole self-view flips right upside down.
My advice? Take classes in a whole bunch of fields, join different clubs, try and pick up new hobbies. Just try things. Sometimes, something you never expected to pique your interest does. Example? I have severe social anxiety and I am signing up for acting classes out of school. I would have laughed in your face even a year ago had you told me I would be doing this. So don’t rule anything out.
Another piece of advice I have: Don’t be afraid to dream. Mom if you’re reading this, I would advise stopping here. I know we are growing up and are expected to be realistic and find a career that is going to pay the bills. And I am not saying that’s wrong. Paying the bills is, obviously, very important. But don’t just chase the money. Chase whatever is going to set your soul on fire (I’m sorry I’m a writer; I’m surprised it has taken me this long to say something unnecessarily poetic.) You’ll find a way to pay your bills.
So get out there. Go try some new things. And please, stop trying to plan out your entire life while you’re still figuring out who the hell you are.