Generally speaking, I would say that I am a pretty “deep person.” For example, after I saw the play Hamilton I started thinking about the full process it took to create it, all the ways that it can relate to life and how I can learn and grow from this experience. But I do this with everything. Yep, I’m that girl. So I figured it was time to go in for the heavy hitter question; the one that some people spend a lifetime trying to figure out: what is the purpose of life? I know there is no one simple answer, but I tried to break it down in a way that may give you something to think about.
College is a cesspool of possibility, and often times it’s hiding in plain sight. They say the first step is the hardest, and I agree. Not because taking that first step is hard in general, but because I have no idea what direction to go in. Really. Any opportunity I take can make or break where I go in life, and I have so much control over it that it’s fucking terrifying. I have no one to blame but myself if I don’t get to where I want to go or where I’m meant to be. And usually, whenever people talk about how they need to find their purpose in life, there was this one little part of my brain, the arrogant little shit who thought she knew better, that always said, “Purpose in life? Pftt, what a bunch of bolognas, there is no purpose in life. That’s just what people tell themselves when they want to do what makes them happy and they’re either not, or they’re faced with so many options they think one of them is the right one, there is no right one.” And the main part of me partly agrees with this belief. I think each option will have its pros and cons.
There will be things you’re not talented in and things that you are and that’s ok. Maybe what you’re good at isn’t something you’re passionate about. Maybe what you really like is largely based off of natural talent and starting early. Maybe late-bloomers are at such a disadvantage that they think their passions aren’t worth pursuing. That they’re too old or untalented or ugly or stupid or facing too much adversity, that there are too many disadvantages and it’s not fair. Maybe they give up, overwhelmed by the unfairness of it all, telling themselves that it’s better to just cut their losses while there are still things to lose. Maybe, sometimes, that’s the smart decision.
And sometimes it’s not.
And the scary thing is that you can never really know. Sure, you can compare someone who turned towards a different path and say, “oh if I did that then my life would be like theirs and a lot better. I would be so successful in my life right now.” But you never really KNOW. You can’t go back in time and do things differently to see how they turn out. All you can say is “What if?”. Maybe there is a purpose in life. Maybe it’s not all bologna.
Maybe there is something only you can contribute to the world, something only you can make better, some task that is laid out before you if only you can find it.
Maybe all we can really do is our best, and see where this series of unpredictable events called life takes us. I think we should see what drives us, whether it be curiosity, fear, self-improvement, love, revenge, affirmation, passion, spite or anything in between.
I think we should see what drives us and ask ourselves if that’s what we want to drive us. If it’s not, then maybe we should try to change what drives us and then see where it takes us.
From a religious perspective, there are some people that never really considered the option of humans having no purpose. But there are lots of people do consider it. I think that there is a whole world of things to be explored, internally and externally. I think the people that feel most fulfilled (I’m just guessing here) are those that open themselves up to all of those possibilities. Maybe it’s even our idea of “purpose,” not everyone is meant to be world renowned and do something life-changing for all. I think for some, it could even be just being there for someone else. Even if it seems small, an impact is an impact. What if there are people whose purpose is to shake things up? To do evil and wake everyone up to things they tried to turn a blind eye to.
I think the more pressure we put on ourselves to “figure it all out” the more restricting it is to our very soul. I think it’s more of a feeling, like an intuitive thing for a lot of people but for others, it is the discovery.