12 Reasons Why Being Lactose Intolerant Sucks

Lactose intolerance is the term used to define your body’s inability to digest lactose, a sugar found in dairy products. In more science-y terms, your body doesn’t produce enough lactase to break down lactose. If a lactose intolerant person has dairy without taking a lactase supplement, they experience one or more of the following nightmares: bloating, gas, diarrhea, indigestion, and stomach cramps. Oh, and over 30 to 50 million Americans are lactose intolerant.

 

That’s right– these poor souls cannot go a moment without being cautious of every bit of food and drink entering their stomach. I’m lactose intolerant, and let me tell you a not-so-secret secret: it SUCKS. Here’s a sad little list of 12 reasons why I pretty much can’t look at food the same way anymore.

 

1. You ALWAYS have to read the ingredients in everything to make sure it has no dairy.

 

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2. You can't binge on ice cream, chocolate, milkshakes, cakes, cupcakes, brownies, or anything milky anymore. (I mean seriously, I can’t even enjoy a cream cheese bagel!)

 

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3. There's always that awkward moment when you have to ask the waiter/waitress at a restaurant (or other food place) if they have any dairy-free options.

 

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4. When you do find dairy-free options, they’re much pricier than dairy options. It’s so criminal I might as well suffer with dairy.

 

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5. Your friends think you’re on a diet every time you turn down ice cream, milkshakes, cake, etc.

 

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6. Speaking of friends, you dread that moment someone asks you what happens if you have dairy.

 

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7. There’s always that once-in-a-while moment you accidentally have dairy, and, well…

 

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8. You have to remember to bring lactase pills with you wherever you go.

 

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9. The pill seems like a magical cure-all, but here’s the catch: It only helps you for about half an hour. Oh, and you have to take multiple pills depending on how much milk is in what you’re eating.

 

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10. Sometimes, you underestimate how much milk is in what you’re eating, and one pill isn’t enough. Whoops.

 

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11. There are (many) times you crave dairy but realize you don't have the pill on you.

 

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12. Every once in a while, you say “Screw it,” go for the dairy, and suffer the consequences later.

 

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