It would seem that everyone and their mother, and probably even your mother, have been in a long distance relationship, because unfortunately, our lives do not always match up perfectly with our other half. Whether you are a fresher, an Erasmus or International student, or a seasoned veteran at long distance, the first few weeks can be difficult.
Full disclosure, I am in a long distance relationship. I have a wonderful boyfriend at my home University in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. We got together before I knew that I would be leaving for a year, andwe didn’t want to break up. Before leaving home, I read tons of articles talking about the perils of long distance relationships and became really nervous. All these people talked about the importance of being single and being able to do whatever you wanted at University and not being tied down to someone at home.
And then, I stopped reading. I mean seriously, what do any of those people know about me and my love life!? Nothing. And they probably know nothing about your life either! We caught up with some students to get the real story and some advice about the modern long distance romance.
1. Know Your Relationship
Many people warned me that long distance is not for the faint hearted. “Both should really know why they want to continue the relationship,” explained one student in a long distance relationship. Make sure you both want to continue the relationship and recognize that it will be really hard some days!
You have to be able to trust your partner, period.
2. Communicate
Every single person mentioned the need to communicate with his or her partner. As one long distance fresher in love explained, “Long distance is not that different from a regular relationship, but communication matters more.”
Another student explained that she made time to talk to her boyfriend everyday whether it was on Skype or on the phone because, “You CAN Skype every day!”
Luckily, we live in the age of technology, so there are plenty of ways for us to keep up with our better halves. There are even apps out there specifically for long distance couples like Avocado, Couple, and Pair. These apps have unique features like thumb kisses and hugs to make you feel the love even when you are literally hundreds of miles apart!
Whether you are an hour by train or hours by plane, you will need to put in more effort into communicating with your partner. As one fresher cautioned, “You are sort of living separate lives, but you should talk every day and tell the other person if something bothers you.”
3. Having fun
When asked how to deal in a long distance relationships, one fresher gave some excellent advice, “Don’t give yourself up.”
So many people believe that long distance means a person must spend all of their time missing their partner – yes you will miss them- but that should not take up every single one of your thoughts. You are in a new place having new experiences, and you should make the most of them.
If you had to leave your bf or gf behind, then make it worth it. As one girl told me, “Nothing can work if you stay in your bedroom all day long.” Go out and have fun! Make friends and enjoy your time at Uni.
4. Have Plans
“I think it is just possible for a short and clearly limited time,” explained one Erasmus student. Both male and female students seemed to agree on this statement.
“You need to have plans together. You need the light at the end of the tunnel,” advised one fresher. It is important to have something to look forward to. If you can, make plans to see each other throughout the year. It makes the distance a whole lot easier if you know that it won’t last forever.